New Cards

I know a cunt when I see one Card

£2.95 (DPP 10)

My cat thinks you're a cunt Card

£2.95 (DPP 08)

I fancied some sunshine Card

£2.95 (DPP 07)

You don't look a day over knackered Card

£2.95 (DPP 06)

Self care with olives Card

£2.95 (DPP 05)

I love quiet birthdays Card

£2.95 (DPP 04)

I tried to be better person Card

£2.95 (DPP 03)

Wake up and be fabulous Card

£2.95 (DPP 02)

I woke up extra early Card

£2.95 (DPP 01)

Hang in there Card

£2.95 (DMA 617)

Someone cards about your Card

£2.95 (DMA 615)

Waited all day for that fart Card

£2.95 (PUL 24)

Curse of the doomscroller Card

£2.95 (PUL 23)

Instagram my dinner Card

£2.95 (PUL 22)

Just one more drink Card

£2.95 (PUL 21)

The case of the missing youth Card

Another year older Card

£2.95 (PUL 17)

Lushes with hot flushes Card

£2.95 (DMA 616)

One legend to another Card

Keep going keep going Card

£2.95 (DMU 284)

Putrid old slag bag Card

£2.95 (DMU 283)

Award winning wanker Card

£2.95 (DMU 282)

Birthdays are like wine Card

£2.95 (DMA 621)

On your marks Card

£2.95 (DMA 620)

Youth is wasted on the young Card

£2.95 (DMA 619)

Scrub up well for an old bugger Card

£2.95 (DMA 618)

Website Exclusive

Mother's Day drives me up the wall Card

Being this fabulous was easy Card

£2.95 (PUL 16)

Mid life crisis Card

£2.95 (PUL 15)

The birthday dilemma Card

Hot flushes and high heels Card

£2.95

Party monsters from outer space Card

£2.95 (PUL 11)

Sold Out

There it goes again Card

£2.95

It's the besties birthday Card

Five more minutes then I'm done Card

£2.95 (PUL 06)

The man the myth the legend Card

£2.95 (PUL 05)

The new air fryer Card

£2.95 (PUL 04)

Birthday drinks gone wild Card

£2.95 (PUL 03)

Another night of too much beer Card

£2.95 (PUL 02)

Not another birthday Card

£2.95 (PUL 01)

Pronouns are more / wine Card

Be the best person you can be Card

£2.95 (DBA 13)

Happy cake day Card

£2.95 (DBA 12)

You're born you die Card

£2.95 (DBA 11)

Sit on the toilet at 11:59 Card

Blah blah bday etc Card

£2.95 (DBA 07)

Don't be greedy Card

£2.95 (DBA 06)

Too much alcohol and too little dignity Card

£2.95 (DBA 05)

Dead inside but still fabulous Card

£2.95 (RAN 199)

Gay AF Card

£2.95 (RAN 198)

Happy Birthday fuck face Card

£2.95 (RAN 195)

Way to Gogh Card

£2.95 (RAN 194)

Wanking too much Card

£2.95 (RAN 193)

It's enough to make you scream Card

£2.95 (RAN 192)

You're the fucker who's 60 Card

£2.95 (RAN 191)

You're the fucker who's 50 Card

£2.95 (RAN 190)

You're the fucker who's 40 Card

£2.95 (RAN 189)

You're the fucker who's 30 Card

£2.95 (RAN 188)

Are you Happy Is it your birthday Card

£2.95 (RAN 187)

You're how old male Card

£2.95 (RAN 186)

You're how old female Card

£2.95 (RAN 185)

Not your first rodeo Card

£2.95 (RAN 184)

Difference between you and a cockerel Card

£2.95 (RAN 183)

Trans rights are human rights Card

£2.95 (RAN 182)

Massive knobhead but I do love you Card

£2.95 (DMV 167)

I really really etc love you Card

£2.95 (DMV 166)

Sold Out

You beat a Jet2 holiday Card

£2.95

Watch Netflix with you forever Card

£2.95 (DMV 164)

Farty duvet thieves Card

£2.95 (DMV 163)

The Earth is 4.5 billion years old Card

£2.95 (DMV 162)

Blah blah birthday something Card

£2.95 (DMU 281)

I go wild swimming Card

£2.95 (DMU 280)

Shit in my hands and clap Card

£2.95 (DMU 279)

12 inches of pleasure Card

£2.95 (DMU 278)

Birthdays drive me up the wall Card

£2.95 (DMA 611)

Everything gets harder Card

£2.95 (DMA 610)

Hope your day is filled with joy Card

£2.95 (DMA 609)

Old age doesn't last long Card

£2.95 (DMA 608)

Balanced diet Card

£2.95 (DMA 607)

Dad - You were right about everything Card

£2.95 (DMA 606)

Mum - You were right about everything Card

£2.95 (DMA 605)

Words cannot express Card

£2.95 (DMA 604)

A wise man once said Card

£2.95 (DMA 603)

A funny personalisable birthday card with a 1960s picture of two smiling women laughing and pointing at each other

Personalise This Card

Best bitch in town name Card

£3.50 (WEB 20)

A funny personalisable birthday card featuring a vintage photo of a moody looking old man in a smart suit pointing to camera

Personalise This Card

Grumpy old git Card

£3.50 (WEB 32)

A funny personalisable bright deep yellow birthday card with bold pink and blue text that reads Name - You're at the age where you can laugh, fart, sneeze and wee all at the same time

Personalise This Card

Personalised Laugh Fart and Sneeze Card

£3.50 (WEB 31)

A funny personalisable simple white birthday card with black text that reads Name - This is the shittest birthday card you'll get

Personalise This Card

Shittest Card

£3.50 (WEB 30)

A funny personalisable birthday card with a 1960s photo of a smiling sarcastic looking older woman looking at camera. Rounded lowercase white text above her reads Name - You scrub up well for an old floozy

Personalise This Card

Personalised Old Floozy Card

£3.50 (WEB 27)

A funny personalisable birthday card with a funny picture of a man in a 1990s shell suit walking against a blue background. White bold text in front of him reads Name - You're a twat

Personalise This Card

Personalised You're a twat Card

£3.50 (WEB 26)

A funny personalisable birthday card with a 1970s picture of two women, slightly drunk laughing on their knees with white text above that reads Get ready for another piss up in - town name

Personalise This Card

Get ready for another piss up Card

£3.50 (WEB 21)

A funny personalisable dark blue birthday card with white, pink, yellow and blue text that reads I'm not sayhing you're old but if you werew milk I'd sniff you firs

Personalise This Card

I'm not saying you're old Card

£3.50 (WEB 19)

A funny birthday card with a retro picture of lots of healthy fruit and veg overlaid with bold white text that reads This card is one of your five a day

Website Exclusive

One of your five a day Card

£3.50 (WEB 17)

A funny personalisable birthday card with a 1960s picture of a smiling brown haired man holding two pints of beer with white text above her that reads Happy birthday - name - you big lush!

Personalise This Card

Happy birthday you big lush Card

Personalise This Card

Happy birthday to the biggest twat in Card

Avoid candles on the Birthday cake Card

Ask me about my super powers Card

Wayne was a wanker card

£3.50 (WEB 02)

A funny red birthday card with bold red ands black text in white boxes that reads Happy birthday to a fully paid up member of the Guardian reading tofu eating wokerati club!

Website Exclusive

Tofu eating wokerati Card

£3.50 (WEB 01)

A funny personalisable birthday card with a 1960s picture of a smiling brown haired woman drinking a glass of champange with white text above her that reads Happy birthday - name - you big lush!

Personalise This Card

Happy birthday you big lush Card

£3.50 (WEB 15)

A funny personalisable deep yellow birthday card with pink and blue text that reads Happy birthday - name - Here's to another year of not giving a single fuck

Personalise This Card

Another year of not giving a single fuck Card

The secret to staying young Card

£2.95 (DMA 602)

One day you'll go far Card

£2.95 (DMA 601)

Potty mouth Card

£2.95 (DMA 600)

Drinking since breakfast Card

£2.95 (DMA 599)

Born in the 80's Card

£2.95 (DMA 598)

Laugh fart sneeze and wee Card

£2.95 (DBA 04)

Too old for this shit Card

£2.95 (DBA 03)

Farting inside this Card

£2.95 (DBA 02)

My three favourite things Card

£2.95 (DBA 01)

How will you spend your birthday Card

£2.95 (RAN 181)

Happy Birthday from the lesbians Card

£2.95 (RAN 179)

Let's play spot the difference Card

£2.95 (RAN 177)

Girl with a birthday hangover Card

£2.95 (RAN 176)

Hail Satan Card

£2.95 (RAN 175)

All the fucks I give Card

£2.95 (DMU 275)

Never too early for champagne Card

£2.95 (DMU 274)

Celebrating a Birthday at your age Card

£2.95 (DMU 273)

What did you get up to last night Card

£2.95 (DMU 272)

No idea how this adult thing works Card

£2.95 (DMU 271)

Creaky old Fart Card

£2.95 (DMA 597)

The gayest card you'll receive today Card

£2.95 (DMA 596)

Enjoy a large stiff one Card

£2.95 (DMA 595)

Donald Trump Tariff Free Card

£2.95 (DMA 594)

Inside every old person Card

£2.95 (DMA 593)

Happy Birthday Slut Bag Card

£2.95 (DMA 592)

Happy Birthday Cock Face Card

£2.95 (DMA 591)

Happy Birthday Hot Stuff Card

£2.95 (DMA 589)

Drunk by Midnight Card

£2.95 (DMA 588)

Sold Out

Today is all about you Boy Card

£2.95

Happy Birthday Bestie Card

£2.95 (DMA 586)

You suck Card

£2.95 (DMV 155)

Like a squirrel loves nuts Card

£2.95 (DMV 154)

Love You in a gay way Card

£2.95 (DMV 153)

Even more than the air fryer Card

£2.95 (DMV 152)

Not dead yet Card

£2.95 (RAN 172)

Kock out four wanks Card

£2.95 (RAN 171)

Happy birthday you old fossil Card

£2.95 (RAN 170)

Happy birthday from Card

£2.95 (RAN 169)

Another year of being fabulous Card

£2.95 (RAN 168)

The gays do love a birthday Card

£2.95 (RAN 166)

Happy birthday super gay Card

£2.95 (RAN 165)

It's only a new iron Card

£2.95 (DMU 269)

Goodbye poor life choices Card

£2.95 (DMU 268)

Did you bring cake Card

£2.95 (DMU 266)

Oh shit my back Card

£2.95 (DMU 265)

Another amazing human Card

£2.95 (DMA 585)

Unpaid therapist Card

£2.95 (DMA 584)

Let's party Card

£2.95 (DMA 583)

Excited about air fryers Card

£2.95 (DMA 582)

Happy birthday fuck nugget Card

Banana you'd be bread Card

Ache all the time Card

£2.95 (RAN 161)

Fabulous and awesome as me Card

£2.95 (RAN 160)

What's for dinner Card

£2.95 (DMU 264)

Warm feeling when you're around Card

£2.95 (DMU 263)

Fencing guys Card

£2.95 (DMU 262)

Decrepit old fossil Card

£2.95 (DMU 261)

I Don't care Card

£2.95 (DMU 260)

Bladder wakes you up Card

£2.95 (DMU 259)

The problem with some people Card

£2.95 (DMA 577)

A friend as fabulous as me Card

£2.95 (DMA 576)

Roses are red wine Card

£2.95 (DMA 575)

Happy birthday hot stuff Card

People say this card is rude Card

£2.95 (DMA 570)

Happy birthday wank puffin Card

£2.95 (DMA 569)

Happy birthday to a total legend Card

£2.95 (DMA 568)

Pillows on holiday Card

£2.95 (DMA 567)

Meh Card

£2.95 (RAN 159)

Your annual reminder Card

£2.95 (RAN 158)

Fucking rudest birthday Card

£2.95 (RAN 157)

The man in the shop Card

£2.95 (RAN 156)

Dickhead Bellend Card

£2.95 (DMU 258)

My back is stiff Card

£2.95 (DMU 257)

Whose birthday is it Card

£2.95 (DMU 256)

Too much prosecco Card

£2.95 (DMU 255)

Bad influence Card

£2.95 (DMU 254)

Queen of the fucking universe Card

Let's skip the Birthday meal Card

£2.95 (DMA 562)

Cook with wine Card

£2.95 (DMA 561)

I have your diagnosis Card

£2.95 (DMA 560)

More hair in your nose Card

£2.95 (DMA 559)

Happy birthday bitch Card

£2.95 (DMA 558)

Birthdays are such thirsty work Card

£2.95 (DMA 557)

I'm so excited it's your Card

£2.95 (DMA 556)

Available from 7th August

Your new workmates (Large Card)

£4.00 (DML 24)

Available from 7th August

We'll miss you - Honest (Large Card)

Yes, you're this gay Card

£2.95 (RAN 153)

Meant for the dog Valentine's Day Card

£2.95 (DMV 151)

Sold Out

My cock your arse Valentine's Day Card

£2.95

Love you so much Valentine's Day Card

£2.95 (DMV 149)

Sold Out

I fucking love you Valentine's Day Card

£2.95

Four billion men Valentine's Day Card

£2.95 (DMV 147)

Happy Valentine's Gay Card

£2.95 (DMV 145)

I Love You Lots and Lots Valentine's Day Card

£2.95 (DMV 143)

No clue what they do for a job Card

£2.95 (DMU 253)

Birthday pint down the local Card

£2.95 (DMU 252)

Who's the Daddy Card

£2.95 (DMU 251)

As funny as you think you are Card

£2.95 (DMU 250)

Just anopther day in Mummy paradise Card

£2.95 (DMU 249)

How is my recital Mummy Card

£2.95 (DMU 248)

Get my balls out for you Card

£2.95 (DMU 243)

Let's get a few things straight Card

£2.95 (DMA 547)

Happy Birthday princess Card

£2.95 (DMA 546)

I foresee great sex Valentine's Day Card

£2.95 (DMA 545)

What's for tea Mother's Day Card

£2.95 (DMA 542)

Best Mum ever Mother's Day Card

£2.95 (DMA 541)

I've still got it Card

£2.95 (DMU 247)

I couldn't give a fuck Card

£2.95 (DMU 246)

What age are you pretending to be Card

£2.95 (DMU 245)

You've aged really well Card

£2.95 (DMU 244)

The moaning Lisa Card

£2.95 (RAN 142)

Get up to wee in the night Card

£2.95 (RAN 138)

Failing at life Card

£2.95 (DMA 538)

Don't stress about old age Card

£2.95 (DMA 537)

First class honours Card

£2.95 (DMA 536)

Oh look it's your birthday Card

£2.95 (DMA 535)

You're full of birthday cheer Card

£2.95 (DMA 534)

Happy birthday saggy tits

£2.95 (DMA 532)

Happy birthday grey pubes Card

£2.95 (DMA 531)

Fuck cancer Card

£2.95 (RAN 136)