PLEASE NOTE: Only full price cards are available. Gifts and sale items will be back in stock Wednesday 1st October.
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Randoms Greeting Cards

Welcome to my collection and random designs rather inspiringly called Randoms. That took a lot of time. There's something for everyone here from nice and clean to mild and very naughty, you have been warned.

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A black Birthday card with a picture of William Shakespeare with a white border at the top
Some are born great Shakespeare Card
£2.95 (RAN 87)
A black greeting card featuring a picture of the Mona Lisa. She's saying Everything is so expensive and you can never get an appointment with your doctor
Sold Out
The moaning Lisa Card
£2.95
Word search Card
£2.95 (RAN 67)
A birthday card with smart black text in a white circle surrounded by a pink floral print that reads I try not to swear but sometimes I cunt help myself.
I try not to swear Card
£2.95 (RAN 122)
A deep red birthday card with black text in a white box at the top that reads May your birthday be blissfully free of
Blissfully free of Card
£2.95 (RAN 119)
A plain white birthday card with bold black text that reads This is the shittest card you'll get
Shittest card you'll get Card
£2.95 (RAN 118)
A dark pink greeting card with just the words Nosey Cunt written in very small capital letters in the middle
Nosey Cunt Card
£2.95 (RAN 75)
A Christmas card designed to look like a vintage paperback featuring an illustration of Father Christmas sitting atop a chimney
Santa take a shit Card
£2.95 (RAN 148)
A birthday card with the title What's your Birthday name?
Birthday name Card
£2.95 (RAN 73)
Favourite swear word Card
£2.95 (RAN 49)
A funny rude birthday card with a flowery patter on a yellow background. Black formal text in a white circle at the front reads Here's your annual reminder that you're fucking ancient
Your annual reminder Card
£2.95 (RAN 158)
A simple orange birthday card with rounded capitalised pink text in the middle that reads Take no shit and give no fucks
Take no shit Card
£2.95 (RAN 103)
A Christmas card asking what your elf name is
Elf Name Card
£2.95 (RAN 45)
A birthday card featuring a 1950s illustration of an excited man arms raised in just his vest and pants. Standing in front of a rainbow starburst he is overlaid with rounded white text that reads Holy fuck! Woke up extra gay today!
Woke up extra gay today Card
£2.95 (RAN 146)
A plain red birthday card with black text in a white box that reads Sorry I'm too busy to give a fuck about your birthday but social etiquette requires me to give you a card
Sorry I'm too busy Card
£2.95 (RAN 143)
A plain black birthday card with simple capitalised white and brown text in the middle that reads Happy birthday to poo
Happy birthday to poo Card
£2.95 (RAN 135)
A bold black Christmas card featuring simple white, red and green text in the middle that reads I never knew they made Christmas cards especially for stupid cunts
Especially for stupid cunts Card
£2.95 (RAN 108)
A birthday card with a kitsch illustration of of a blue kitten with a bonnet and little handbag against a yellow background. Rounded blue, pink and purple text above reads Happy Whatever
Happy whatever Card
£2.95 (RAN 134)
A black birthday card with pastel multicoloured spots surrounding bold slanted white text that reads Shove this card up your arse
Shove this card up your arse Card
£2.95 (RAN 140)
A bold white birthday card with dark red and black text that reads The three stages of life: 1. Birth 2. My back aches 3. Death
Stages of Life Card
£2.95 (RAN 97)
A blue birthday card with repeated text saying I really couldn't give a fuck it's your birthday of various different sizes
Save 83%

Available from 1st October
How many can you see Card
£0.50 £2.95 (RAN 91)
A dark red Christmas card with just the words Merry Christmas you Nosey Cunt written in very small white capital letters in the middle
Nosey Cunt Card
£2.95 (RAN 79)
A black Christmas card with bold slanted white text that reads Show this Christmas card up your arse surrounded by white, red and green dots
Shove this Christmas card up your arse Card
£2.95 (RAN 151)
A black birthday card with bold pastel multicoloured text that reads Happy birthday dickhead
Dickhead Card
£2.95 (RAN 121)
A simple funny dark blue birthday card with white, yellow, blue and pink text that reads No one tells you that once you reach this age you'll ache all the fucking time
Ache all the time Card
£2.95 (RAN 161)
A plain dark blue birthday card with white, blue, yellow and pink simple text that reads I bet out of all the bastard birthday cards you get today you big tosser that this one is the fucking rudest
Fucking rudest birthday Card
£2.95 (RAN 157)
A yellow birthday card with a vintage illustration of two smiling children's faces. Above and below multi coloured text reads Happy birthday you old fossil
Happy birthday you old fossil Card
£2.95 (RAN 170)
A black Christmas with bold rounded white, red and green text that reads Enjoy your big Christmas poo
Enjoy your big Christmas poo Card
£2.95 (RAN 152)
A light pink Christmas card with random red, pink, white and green spots surrounding red and green text that reads Have a nice jolly festive fuck you
Jolly festive fuck you Card
£2.95 (RAN 125)
Satisfying shit Card
£2.95 (RAN 70)
A white text based Christmas card with black, green and red text
Hope Your Xmas Isn't Shit Card
£2.95 (RAN 38)
A plain white birthday card with bold black text that reads You're lucky you got a card
Lucky you got a card Card
£2.95 (RAN 117)
A circular pink patterned birthday card with 70's style blue font that reads Oh my fuck you're so old
You're so old Card
£2.95 (RAN 116)
A dark blue birthday card with simple white, yellow, pink and blue text that reads Remember when you could easily knock out four wanks in a day?
Kock out four wanks Card
£2.95 (RAN 171)
Festive fuckwit December Card
£2.95 (RAN 66)
A dark blue birthday card with simple white, yellow, pink and blue text that reads I'm not saying you're old.. .. but if you were a banana you'd be bread
Banana you'd be bread Card
£2.95 (RAN 164)
A black Christmas card with white and rainbow slanted capital letters reading Have a merry LGBTQIABCOHMYGODYASSBITCHYASSXYZ+ Christmas
Merry LGBTQI+ Christmas
£2.95 (RAN 80)
A Christmas card with a bright rainbow pattern. In the middle is bold white rounded text with a black outline that reads Happy Holigays
Happy Holigays Card
£2.95 (RAN 124)
A simple white birthday card featuring bold black text in the middle that reads Fuck all inside this card
Fuck all inside Card
£2.95 (RAN 102)
A dark yellow birthday card with bold capitalised black and red text that reads Not dead yet.
Not dead yet Card
£2.95 (RAN 172)
A light blue birthday card with plain black text and tickboxes that reads The sender / recipient of this card has a / is a massive dick
Massive dick Card
£2.95 (RAN 120)
A bold black birthday card featuring simple white, yellow, blue and pink text in the middle that reads I never knew they made birthday cards especially for stupid cunts
Especially for stupid cunts Card
£2.95 (RAN 106)
A white greeting card with rounded alternating black and red text surrounded by cute little multicoloured penises
To you and your Card
£2.95 (RAN 76)
A bright rainbow coloured birthday card with bold white shadowed text that reads Here's to another year ofbeing fucking fabulous!
Sold Out
Another year of being fabulous Card
£2.95
A funny birthday with smart black text that reads Happy birthday to someone who is just as fabulous and awesome as me in a white circle surrounded by pretty pink flowers
Fabulous and awesome as me Card
£2.95 (RAN 160)
A black birthday card with a very old painting of thirteen serious looking men all looking towards the viewer surrounded by a white border. White formal text above them reads Who farted?
Who farted Card
£2.95 (RAN 155)
A white birthday card with bold rainbow coloured text that reads Big gay birthday card surrounded by equally rainbow dots
Big gay birthday Card
£2.95 (RAN 145)
A light purple birthday card with bold red text at the top that reads Congrats! You're. Below are tick boxes next to the following stages of life
Congrats you're Card
£2.95 (RAN 132)
A black and spotted greeting card with bold white slanted text that reads You're now in your Daddy era surrounded by multicoloured dots
Daddy era Card
£2.95 (RAN 163)
A Plain red Christmas card with a black, green and red text in a white box that reads Sorry I'm far too much of a Scrooge to give a fuck about Christmas but social etiquette requires me to give you a card
Too much a Scrooge Card
£2.95 (RAN 149)
A plain pale orange greeting card with bold pink text in the middle that reads Seize the day! Underneath smaller white text reads Tomorrow
Seize the day tomorrow Card
£2.95 (RAN 141)
A plain white Christmas card with bold black, red and green text that reads Shit Christmas card perfect for an annoying sister
Annoying sister Shit Card
£2.95 (RAN 127)
An orange birthday card with white text reading birthday checklist in a red banner at the top
Checklist Card
£2.95 (RAN 115)
A dark blue birthday card featuring rounded white, blue and yellow text that reads I've lost loads on crypto so be grateful you've still got a card
Save 83%

Available from 1st October
I've lost loads on crypto Card
£0.50 £2.95 (RAN 99)
A funny birthday card featuring an illustration of Girl with a pearl earing but it has been manipulated to make her look like she has a massive hangover
Girl with a birthday hangover Card
£2.95 (RAN 176)
A funny birthday card with white text in a black box at the top that reads How many times do you have to get up to wee in the night? Below against a yellow background are tick boxes which are detailed
Get up to wee in the night Card
£2.95 (RAN 138)
A birthday card with the layout of wordle. Text in the grey, yellow and green boxes read Happy birthday to that Wordle freak
Wordle Freak Card
£2.95 (RAN 95)
A simple white Christmas card featuring bold black, red and green text in the middle that reads Fuck all inside this Christmas card
Fuck all inside this Card
£2.95 (RAN 109)
A gay birthday card featuring a picture of a unicorn with a rainbow coloured mane and horn riding over a big rainbow in space. Bold white text above reads Yes, you're this gay
Yes, you're this gay Card
£2.95 (RAN 153)
A rainbow explosion Christmas card with curvy white text with a black outline
Very Camp Card
£2.95 (RAN 81)
A birthday card with a picture of the night sky with loads of stars overlaid by white rounded text that reads Good friends are like stars. Big round balls of energy belching out hot gasses
Friends are like stars Card
£2.95 (RAN 133)
A Fathers Day card about farting a lot
Save 66%

Available from 1st October
Dad you could make farting a national sport Card
£1.00 £2.95 (RAN 50)
A white greeting card with a pattern of watercolour flowers at the bottom
Sorry If I Hurt Your Feelings Card
£2.95 (RAN 42)
A plain white birthday card with bold black and pink text that reads Shit birthday card perfect for an annoying sister
Annoying sister Card
£2.95 (RAN 129)
Stupid twat August Card
£2.95 (RAN 62)
Save 66%

Available from 1st October
You're doing great Card
£1.00 £2.95 (RAN 68)
A Massive dickhead July Card
£2.95 (RAN 61)
A plain white greeting card with plain black text in the middle that reads Fuck cancer
Fuck cancer Card
£2.95 (RAN 136)
A birthday card featuring bold black text in the middle that reads Happy Birthday and surrounded by loads of colourful doodle patterns
Sold Out

Available from 1st October
Happy doodles Card
£1.00 £2.95
A deep pink greeting card with fancy white and light pink text that reads Things are so much better when you remove all the toxic arseholes out of your life
Toxic arseholes Card
£2.95 (RAN 162)
A bright yellow greeting card with bold angular lettering covering the card in various shades of red and pink that read You have a cute butt
You have a cute Butt Card
£2.95 (RAN 144)
A plain white Christmas card with bold black, red and green text that reads Shit Christmas card perfect for an annoying brother
Annoying brother shit Card
£2.95 (RAN 126)
A greeting card, perfect for weddings featuring a rainbow stardust and in front bold white text that reads Mr & Mr
Mr and Mr Card
£2.95 (RAN 112)
A dark blue postcard with pastel multicoloured text in the middle that reads You are a bloody amazing human being
Amazing human being Card
£2.95 (RAN 98)
A birthday card with the title What's your Birthday name?
Birthday name really old Card
£2.95 (RAN 72)
Enormous wankers September Card
£2.95 (RAN 63)
A greeting card, perfect for weddings featuring a rainbow stardust and in front bold white text that reads Mrs & Mrs
Mrs and Mrs Card
£2.95 (RAN 113)
A funny birthday card with a cute whimsical illustration of two kittens against a blue background. Rounded yellow text above them reads Meh birthday
Meh Card
£2.95 (RAN 159)
A funny rude birthday card with white, blue, yellow and pink simple text that reads The man in the shop told me that this card would make even the most miserable bugger laugh
The man in the shop Card
£2.95 (RAN 156)
A Christmas card titled How much do you love Christmas? with the answers next to tick boxes below
How much to you love Card
£2.95 (RAN 150)
A simple red Christmas card with lower case white text aligned to one side
Smell of reindeer poo Card
£2.95 (RAN 85)
A Christmas card with a cute cartoon of two ladies in festive knitted jumpers
Cute Girls Couple Gay Card
£2.95 (RAN 83)
A Christmas card with a cute cartoon of two guys in festive knitted jumpers
Cute Guys Couple Gay Card
£2.95 (RAN 82)
Save 66%

Available from 1st October
Inspirational Quote Card
£1.00 £2.95 (RAN 69)
Mahoosive twatwaffle November Card
£2.95 (RAN 65)
Mahoosive twatwaffle May Card
£2.95 (RAN 59)
Happy Totally Gay Birthday To You
£2.95 (RAN 40)
A plain white Birthday card with bold black capitalised text that reads Happy Birthday Let's go wild and put the heating on
Happy Birthday Let's Go Wild Card
£2.95 (RAN 111)
A funny white birthday card with a pie chart split into pink and a picture of a rainbow unicorn. The card asks Are you gay? with the options being Yes and Yes, and a magical fucking unicorn.
Are you gay Card
£2.95 (RAN 167)
Happy LGBTQI+ Card
£2.95 (RAN 06)
A red Valentines card with white and orange rounded lowercase text reading Live laugh Lick my balls
Live Laugh Lick my Balls Valentines Card
£2.95 (RAN 93)
Enormous wankers February Card
£2.95 (RAN 56)
Save 83%

Available from 1st October
We Can't Celebrate Your Card
£0.50 £2.95 (RAN 21)
A bold rainbow patterned birthday card multicoloured rainbow text surrounded by a big white border that reads Make birthdays fabulous again
Make birthdays fabulous again Card
£2.95 (RAN 131)
A plain white birthday card with bold black and blue text that reads Shit birthday card perfect for an annoying brother
Annoying brother Card
£2.95 (RAN 128)
A dark blue Christmas card featuring rounded white, red and green text that reads I've lost loads on crypto so be grateful you've still got a Christmas card
Save 66%

Available from 1st October
Lost money on crypto Card
£1.00 £2.95 (RAN 107)
Yasss Queen Gay Card
£2.95 (RAN 01)
A funny LGBTQ+ birthday cards with rainbow coloured text in white blocks against a rainbow background that reads Happy birthday from the gays
Happy Birthday from the gays Card
£2.95 (RAN 178)
A funny illustrated birthday card based on spot the difference
Let's play spot the difference Card
£2.95 (RAN 177)
A Christmas card with a cute cartoon of a guy and a girl in festive knitted jumpers
Cute Couple Card
£2.95 (RAN 84)
Massive dickheads January Card
£2.95 (RAN 55)
A bright pink gay birthday card featuring a cute illustration of two guys with rainbow apparel and waving a classic pride flag
Pride guys Card
£2.95 (RAN 104)
Pretty Fucking Gay Card
£2.95 (RAN 05)
Fabulous Gayness Card
£2.95 (RAN 04)
A white Valentines card with a small red hard in the middle. Inside this heart tiny text reads I love you! You nosey cunt
Save 83%

Available from 1st October
Love you nosey cunt Valentines Card
£0.50 £2.95 (RAN 92)
A black birthday card covered with multicoloured spots. Bold white text in the middle reads The gays do love a birthday
The gays do love a birthday Card
£2.95 (RAN 166)
A leopard print birthday card with bold white text that reads Happy birthday to a total slag
Website Exclusive
Total Slag Card
£3.50 (WEB 08)
A birthday card featuring a retro illustration of a smiling man riding a sledge over a rainbow in space. Multicoloured rounded text above him reads You may not be as gay as this but at least you're trying
You may not be as gay as this Card
£2.95 (RAN 147)
A bold white greeting card with a a bold colourful rainbow with bold rounded text underneath that reads Happy Pride
Happy Pride LGBTQ+ Card
£2.95 (RAN 96)
A white birthday card with a semi circular rainbow and underneath black curved text reads Proud as fuck
Proud as Fuck LGBTQ Card
£2.95 (RAN 90)
A black Christmas card with alternating red, white and green rounded text reading We wish you a merry fuckmas
Merry Fuckmas Card
£2.95 (RAN 89)
Biggest bellend June Card
£2.95 (RAN 60)
Huge knobhead April Card
£2.95 (RAN 58)
A simple Fathers Day card asking if fancies the pub
Save 66%

Available from 1st October
Dad, fancy the pub? Card
£1.00 £2.95 (RAN 51)
A funny Christmas card featuring a vintage illustration of a snowman against a bright red background
Merry whatever Card
£2.95 (RAN 174)
A light blue birthday card with red and black text in a white box at the top that reads Happy birthday from. Options listed below are as follows
Happy birthday from Card
£2.95 (RAN 169)
A funny birthday card with a rainbow pattern emanating out from a white circle in the middle with back and multi-coloured text inside that reads Happy birthday super gay
Happy birthday super gay Card
£2.95 (RAN 165)
A bight yellow birthday card with alternating blue and pink lower case text that reads Here's a nice bright cheerful fuck you
Nice bright cheerful fuck you Card
£2.95 (RAN 94)
A birthday card with a multicoloured rainbow pattern exploding from the centre
Good Vibes Only Card
£2.95 (RAN 74)
Huge knobhead October Card
£2.95 (RAN 64)
You're Here Your Queer Card
£2.95 (RAN 36)
Save 83%

Available from 1st October
Happy New Normal Card
£0.50 £2.95 (RAN 31)
A bold rainbow patterned birthday card with big white rounded lettering in the middle that reads Sounds Gay I'm in
Sounds gay I'm in Card
£2.95 (RAN 130)
A birthday card featuring a bright rainbow pattern exploding from behind white text that reads I'm so proud of you
I'm so proud of you Card
£2.95 (RAN 100)
Love is Love Card
£2.95 (RAN 03)
A funny personalisable dark blue birthday card with white, pink, blue and yellow text that reads Happy birthday to the biggest twat in...
Personalise This Card

Happy birthday to the biggest twat in Card
£3.50 (WEB 11)
A funny birthday card featuring a vintage kitsch illustration of two kittens
Website Exclusive
Cats are cunts Card
£3.50 (WEB 05)
A funny birthday card with text against a white, pink and purple background that reads How will you spend your birthday?
How will you spend your birthday Card
£2.95 (RAN 181)
A funny LGBTQ+ birthday cards with rainbow coloured text in white blocks against a rainbow background that reads Happy birthday from the lesbians
Happy Birthday from the lesbians Card
£2.95 (RAN 179)
A funny birthday card with a large full frame illustration of Satan laughing with the words Hail Satan at the top in gothic font
Hail Satan Card
£2.95 (RAN 175)
Stupid twats March Card
£2.95 (RAN 57)
A bright pink gay birthday card featuring a cute illustration of two girls with rainbow apparel and waving a classic pride flag
Pride girls Card
£2.95 (RAN 105)
A funny personalisable simple white birthday card with black text that reads Name - This is the shittest birthday card you'll get
Personalise This Card

Shittest Card
£3.50 (WEB 30)
A funny personalisable dark blue birthday card with white, pink, yellow and blue text that reads I'm not sayhing you're old but if you werew milk I'd sniff you firs
Personalise This Card

I'm not saying you're old Card
£3.50 (WEB 19)
A funny dark blue birthday card with white, yellow, pink and blue text that reads I was going to buy you a birthday present but I spent the money on booze and porn instead
Website Exclusive
Booze and porn Card
£3.50 (WEB 10)
A rude dark blue birthday card with white, pink, yellow and blue text that reads I could have got you a nice birthday card you big twat but who needs that fake bullshit friendship?
Website Exclusive
Fake bullshit Card
£3.50 (WEB 09)
A funny red birthday card with bold yellowm and white text that reads Nothing beats a Jet2 holiday and right now you can save £50 per person, that's £200 off for a family of four. Oh, and happy birthday
Website Exclusive
Jet2 Holiday Card
£3.50 (WEB 06)
A funny birthday card with a red, blue and purple pattern overlaid with bold white text that reads Ask me about my superpowers
Website Exclusive
Ask me about my super powers Card
£3.50 (WEB 04)
A funny red birthday card with bold red ands black text in white boxes that reads Happy birthday to a fully paid up member of the Guardian reading tofu eating wokerati club!
Website Exclusive
Tofu eating wokerati Card
£3.50 (WEB 01)
A funny greeting card with a kitsch 1950s illustration of a cowboy riding a horse overlaid with bold white western text that reads Save a horse ride a cowboy
Website Exclusive
Save a horse Card
£3.50 (WEB 13)
A funny red Christmas card with three tick boxes for the options Naughty, nice and tired
Naughty nice tired Card
£2.95 (RAN 173)
A funny LGBTQ+ birthday card with a bold rainbow starburst pattern overlaid with white dramatic text that reads One year older zero shame infinite gayness
Infinite gayness Card
£2.95 (RAN 180)
A plain white birthday card with bold rounded black text that reads I love (heart) gay
I love Gay Card
£2.95 (RAN 154)
New Name New You Transition Card
£2.95 (RAN 35)
A black birthday card with bold text in the middle in shades of blue, pink, yellow and white that read Queer and proud and surrounded by complimentary dots of the same colours
Queer and proud Card
£2.95 (RAN 137)

Random Designs from Dean Morris Cards

There's something for everyone here with this random collection of designs from Dean Morris Cards. Birthdays and lots of occasions are catered for.