Rude and Funny Birthday Cards

A unique collection cool, funny and rude birthday cards for him or her. If you're looking for a clean humorous card, or something cool or unusual, or even slightly offensive, you can filter them, or pick birthday cards by popularity, or recipient.

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A plain white badge with round black text that reads When did I become the same age as old people?

Available from 22nd October
Same Age as Old People Badge
£2.00 (DMD 343)

Available from 22nd October
Birthday Wanker Gift Wrap x 3 Sheets
£4.25 (DMW 25)
A rude badge with the text fuckpig

Available from 22nd October
Fuckpig Badge
£2.00 (DMD 246)
A white ballpoint pen with a black grip and black ink. Black rounded text reads Fresh out of fucks

Available from 22nd October
Fresh out of fucks Pen
£3.50 (PEN 89)
Indigo wrapping paper with a picture of a man dressed extremely brightly from head to toe doing a silly pose and across him are the words ‘You’re a twat’ in capitalised, simple white font. This repeats across the entire paper

Available from 22nd October
You're A Twat Gift Wrap x 3 Sheets
£4.25 (DMW 44)
A bright blue badge with lowercase pink text with a white outline that reads Birthday slapper

Available from 22nd October
Birthday Slapper Badge
£2.00 (DMD 38)

Available from 22nd October
I Love Cock Postcard
£1.15 (DPO 26)
A white ballpoint pen with a pink grip and black ink. Slanted pink bold text with a black outline reads total slag

Available from 22nd October
Total slag Pen
£3.50 (PEN 68)
A black gift wrap with a repeated picture of William Shakespeare with a white border at the top

Available from 22nd October
Shakespeare Quote Wrap x 3 Sheets
£4.25 (DMW 62)
A bright yellow badge with bold square capital letters that read Not dead yet.

Available from 22nd October
Not dead yet Badge
£2.00 (DMD 350)

Available from 22nd October
Man Slag Badge
£2.00 (DMD 139)
A badge with a red, white and black horizontal stripes.  Black and red rounded capitalised text in the middle white stripe reads Birthday stud

Available from 22nd October
Birthday Stud Badge
£2.00 (DMD 151)
Jesus Christmas Multipack of 10 cards

Available from 22nd October
Jesus Cards Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 (MUL 57)
A white ballpoint pen with a pink grip and black ink. Slanted rainbow text reads Yasss Queen
Sold Out

Available from 22nd October
Yasss Queen LGBTQ+ Pen
£3.50
A light and darker pink striped greeting card with a vintage style drawing of a smiling woman pointing towards a box that says Multitasking formula
Sold Out

Available from 22nd October
Wonder Mum Card
£1.00 Regular price £2.95
A white ballpoint pen with a black grip and black text that reads Not dead yet

Available from 22nd October
Not dead yet Pen
£3.50 (PEN 85)
A fridge magnet with a picture of a smiling older woman in a blouse against a deep pink background.  White and light pink text above her reads Welcome to middle age.  Everyone is annoying and you'll need to wee a lot

Available from 22nd October
Welcome to middle age Fridge Magnet
£2.75 (DMG 155)

Available from 22nd October
Are You A Knob Postcard
£1.15 (DPO 89)
A coaster with a retro photo of a 1960's smiling man in a smart suit against a red background

Available from 22nd October
Old Bastard Coaster
£3.25 (DMT 192)

Available from 22nd October
Fuck You Arsehole Fridge Magnet
£2.75 (DMG 126)

Birthday Humour Cards

At Dean Morris, we’re known for the rudeness of our funny greeting cards – and we reckon you cannot beat a dollop of good, ‘in your face’ rudeness mixed with humour, can you?! The popularity of our funny rude birthday cards only goes to prove how much our customers agree. The good old-fashioned British sense of humour, with its strong sense of irony and a strong cheeky streak, is still going strong!

Know that we’re here to cater for all tastes in funny cards from sexual innuendo to the down-right blunt and offensive. However, if you find some of the cards a little vulgar for your taste, then we have more normal birthday cards to make them smile. With our bold, bright-coloured cards, and simple messages there should be something perfect for you to choose. Whether you’re feeling a bit naughty, in which case our saucy cards are for you, or perhaps your friends’ sense of humour is more towards a nice blunt lowbrow message to make them laugh. We’ve got you covered!

We love our mums and dads and we want to show them the love in our cards too. So we’ve got a range to show them how much you care on their birthday and make them laugh at the same time. You know their sense of humour, so it’s up to you how far you push it. Our brilliant funny badges are just the thing to go with their cards, or you can give them a mug to remind them each time they have a cuppa. Perfect for birthdays!

I’m afraid we sometimes seem to offend a few people with our cards, but then again, if you click on very rude birthday cards, what can you expect?! We are often brazen enough to wheel out the odd four-letter word, or two (or maybe a few more – but that’s funny), and this is our style. So if you’re a little nervy or easily shocked by how shameless some of our more vulgar cards are, we hope you forgive us. Perhaps pick from the less offensive if you think they’re too lowbrow for you, or be defiant and go for a nice funny rude one!