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A greeting card with the picture of a happy smiling man
The Man The Myth The Bellend Card
£2.95 (DMA 260)
A blue birthday card with repeated text saying I really couldn't give a fuck it's your birthday of various different sizes
Save 83%

Available from 22nd October
How many can you see Card
£0.50 £2.95 (RAN 91)
A dark red Christmas card with just the words Merry Christmas you Nosey Cunt written in very small white capital letters in the middle
Nosey Cunt Card
£2.95 (RAN 79)
A white ballpoint pen with a purple grip and black ink. Pink and blue and purple text on one side reads Fuck fuck fuckity fuck

Available from 22nd October
Fuck Fuck Fuckity Fuck Pen
£3.50 (PEN 12)

Available from 22nd October
Cheeky Cards Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 (MUL 02)
Happy Birthday You Old Fucker Card
£2.95 (DMU 61)
Sold Out

Available from 22nd October
You Would Not Believe Wallet
£0.50 £2.75
A birthday card with a retro picture of a hand about to dial a number on an old bakerlite phone. White curved text above and beside the picture reads This is a phone. This is what old people use. Old people like you
Sold Out

Available from 22nd October
This is a phone Card
£1.00 £2.95
A rude Christmas Card with a picture of a jolly Father Christmas
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
Another shitty year Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMX 306)
A Christmas card with a photo of Boris Johnson surrounded by snowflakes
Save 83%

Available from 22nd October
Clueless Boris Card
£0.50 £2.95 (DMX 11)
A birthday card with a retro photo of a smiling old lady in yellow blouse. Pink and yellow rounded text reads Happy Birthday
From one old tart Card
£2.95 (DMA 495)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of smiling Santa Claus holding a scroll that reads Not you dickhead. Above him white text reads Merry Christmas everyone!
Not you dickhead Card
£2.95 (DMX 312)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a woman with a telephone headset surrounded by snowflakes
Your Christmas is important Card
£2.95 (DMX 326)
A Christmas card with a picture of a teenager dressed in a white 1970s prom tuxedo
Even Wankers Deserve A Card
£2.95 (DMX 292)
Sold Out

Available from 22nd October
Keep Calm And Carry On Fridge Magnet
£0.50 £2.75
A birthday card with a 1960s photo of a female call centre operator looking direct to the camera
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
Your birthday is important to us Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMA 504)
A white birthday card edged by multicoloured circles
Like a piece of folded card Card
£2.95 (POP 18)
That Cake Is Mine Card
£2.95 (DMU 131)
Save 85%

Available from 22nd October
Keep Calm And Have A Tipple Coaster
£0.50 £3.25 (DMT 37)
Save 64%

Available from 22nd October
I Need My Fucking Caffeine Keyring
£1.00 £2.75 (DMK 14)
A greeting card with a picture of Trump and reads Birthday Kisses from Donald
Birthday Kisses From Donald Card
£2.95 (DMA 327)
A funny birthday card featuring a retro picture of a middle aged smart woman smiling to camera in a white jumper. White and multicoloured text above and beside her reads Having a friend as fabulous as me is enough of a gift
A friend as fabulous as me Card
£2.95 (DMA 576)
A funny retro birthday card featuring a serious looking man in a grey blue suit pointing to the side. White rounded text above him reads People say this birthday card is rude. He's pointing to text that reads I say shit bollocks fuck wank arse
People say this card is rude Card
£2.95 (DMA 570)
A black Christmas card with bold slanted white text that reads Show this Christmas card up your arse surrounded by white, red and green dots
Shove this Christmas card up your arse Card
£2.95 (RAN 151)
A birthday card with a picture of a smiling old man using a walking frame. Blue, yellow and white text in front reads Hip hip replacement Happy Birthday Dad
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
Hip Hip Replacement Dad Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMA 393 DAD)
A funny birthday card with a retro photo of a serious looking man pointing and looking to camera
Let's get a few things straight Card
£2.95 (DMA 547)
A black birthday card with bold pastel multicoloured text that reads Happy birthday dickhead
Dickhead Card
£2.95 (RAN 121)
A jet black card with the words ‘You’re gayer than Kylie riding a pink unicorn through Disneyland at Christmas’ written in capitalised, bubble font in an assortment of white and all the colours of the rainbow.
You're Gayer Than Kylie Riding A Pink Unicorn Card
£2.95 (DMR 51)

Available from 22nd October
Christmas full of gin Badge
£2.00 (DMD 314)
A simple funny dark blue birthday card with white, yellow, blue and pink text that reads No one tells you that once you reach this age you'll ache all the fucking time
Ache all the time Card
£2.95 (RAN 161)
A funny birthday card with a 1960's photo of two young women talking closely to each other. One asks Whose birthday is it? to which the other replies Fuck knows I'm wasted
Whose birthday is it Card
£2.95 (DMU 256)
A funny pink Mother's Day card with white, pink and yellow rounded text that reads Mum You really deserve the recognition for how perfect I've turned out
Deserve the recognition Mother's Day Card
£2.95 (MUM 67)
A funny birthday card with a 1960's photo of a serious looking man sitting at a desk next to a World globe. Text above reads Age is just a number. In your case a very big number
Age is Just a Number Card
£2.95 (DMA 550)
A text based Christmas card with a red background and white snow
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
Have A Totes Amazeballs Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DSX 04)
A mothers day card with a 1990s picture of a daughter hugging her mother on a park bench
Lovely nursing home Mothers Day Card
£2.95 (DMU 220)

Available from 22nd October
Random Everyday Card Pack of 10 Multipack
£5.99 (MUL 06)
Love you almost as much as the dog funny Valentines card
£2.95 (DMV 126)
A birthday card with a retro picture of a smiling young woman against a bold red background
I bought you some wine Card
£2.95 (DMA 518)
We're An Awesome Couple Valentine's Card
£2.95 (DMA 416)
A funny greeting card with picture of stylish woman
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
My Spirit Animal Is Gin Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMA 383)
A gay greeting card with a man with glasses pointing to camera
Sold Out

Available from 22nd October
You Are Very Very Gay Card
£1.00 £2.95
Save 83%

Available from 22nd October
Mums Kick Ass Card
£0.50 £2.95 (DMA 191)
A plain dark blue birthday card with white, blue, yellow and pink simple text that reads I bet out of all the bastard birthday cards you get today you big tosser that this one is the fucking rudest
Fucking rudest birthday Card
£2.95 (RAN 157)
A Christmas card with a red background. White text reads I'll be walking in a winter wankerland
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
Wanking In A Winter Wonderland Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DSX 12)
Funny wrapping paper with a picture of a pink rose and above it are the words ‘To a special cunt’ in cursive white font, all in a repeating pattern across the paper

Available from 22nd October
To a special cunt Gift Wrap x 3 sheets x 3 Sheets
£4.25 (DMW 48)
A bright white card with the words ‘Think happy thoughts’ in capitalised black font
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
Think Happy Thoughts Card
£1.00 £2.95 (BOC 09)
A black Christmas with bold rounded white, red and green text that reads Enjoy your big Christmas poo
Enjoy your big Christmas poo Card
£2.95 (RAN 152)
A Christmas card with a photograph of two cute white kittens surround by various Christmas decorations. Bold white capitalised text above them reads Merry Christmas human from your feline overlords
Sold Out
Merry Christmas Human Card
£2.95
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling young girl and Father Christmas looking into the middle distance
Hunt you down Card
£2.95 (DMX 344)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a smiling woman in a red dress holding a huge festive turkey
Screw the diet Card
£2.95 (DMX 333)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of two snowmen models walking against a backdrop of snow and candy canes
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
Insufferable festive excitement Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMX 316)
A birthday card with a 1960s picture of a smiling man looking over the rim of his glasses against a dark red background. Slanted bold white text above reads I've just spotted a huge twat
Huge twat Card
£2.95 (DMA 526)
A birthday card featuring a retro photo of a young girl with her hands to her mouth shouting. Bold pastel coloured rounded text above reads Birthday bum face
Bum Face Card
£2.95 (DMA 521)
A birthday card with a photo of a 1970s smiling woman in a yellow dress
Young and Fancy Free Card
£2.95 (DMA 453)
A funny and rude birthday card with a picture of a puffin in mid flight looking to camera. Rounded bold yellow text above and below reads Happy birthday wank puffin
Happy birthday wank puffin Card
£2.95 (DMA 569)
A funny retro birthday card featuring a smiling young woman holding a tennis racket and smiling to the camera
Anyone for Tennis Card
£2.95 (DMA 555)
A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink. Text on one side reads No cunts today please

Available from 22nd October
No Cunts Today Please Pen
£3.50 (PEN 49)

Available from 22nd October
Festive Fuckwit Badge
£2.00 (DMD 225)
A birthday card with a retro picture of two best female friends
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
Happy Birthday Bae Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMA 272)
A yellow birthday card with a vintage illustration of two smiling children's faces. Above and below multi coloured text reads Happy birthday you old fossil
Happy birthday you old fossil Card
£2.95 (RAN 170)
A white ballpoint pen with a pink grip and black ink. Text on one side reads Wake up be fabulous repeat

Available from 22nd October
Wake Up Be Fabulous Repeat Pen
£3.50 (PEN 26)

Available from 22nd October
Offensive Everyday Card Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 (MUL 22)
Sold Out

Available from 22nd October
And You've Been a Total Shit Postcard
£1.15
Pale yellow wrapping paper with a vintage style drawing of a smiling, well-dressed man and a woman repeated across the entire paper

Available from 22nd October
Hello Yes You The Old One! Gift Wrap x 3 Sheets
£4.25 (DMW 28)
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
Blow harder! Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMU 202)
Little Shit Boy Mothers Day Card
£2.95 (DMA 387)
A funny retro birthday card featuring a smiling man with his hands behind his head lying in bed. He's saying You're finally at the age where your bladder wakes you up before your alarm clock
Bladder wakes you up Card
£2.95 (DMU 259)
A retro birthday card with a vintage photo of a smiling old man with grey hair in a white top and pointing. White and light blue rounded text above him reads Happy Birthday grey pubes
Happy birthday grey pubes Card
£2.95 (DMA 531)
A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink. Red text on one side reads Off you fuck!

Available from 22nd October
Off you fuck Pen
£3.50 (PEN 62)
Christmas wrapping paper with a vintage style drawing of Santa with three children and a speech bubble saying ‘Fuck off!’ in capitalised black font. This repeats across the entire paper

Available from 22nd October
Fuck Off Christmas Gift Wrap x 3 Sheets
£4.25 (DMW 43)
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
Wanna Bang? Valentines Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMU 183)
Save 83%

Available from 22nd October
Miserable Screaming Children Card
£0.50 £2.95 (DMU 145)
A dark blue badge with rounded white text in the middle that reads Please keep all the stupid people away from me today

Available from 22nd October
Stupid people away from me Badge
£2.00 (DMD 337)
A bright blue birthday card dotted with several rubber chickens. Curved white text down the card reads Bwak bwak bwak bwak bwak *That's rubber chicken for happy birthday
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
Bwak bwak rubber chicken Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMA 473)
A funny birthday card featuring a picture of a serious looking Donald Trump
Donald Trump I'm Gonna Give You a Card Card
£2.95 (DMA 294)
Save 83%

Available from 22nd October
Mum, It's Time For Wine Card
£0.50 £2.95 (DMA 268)
A greeting card with a 1960s picture of a seated old man pointing at a line graph
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
You're A Twat Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMA 352)
A jet black card with the words ‘Happy whatever’ in capitalised, chunky white and pastel rainbow font
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
Happy Whatever Card
£1.00 £2.95 (BOC 01)
A Christmas wrapping paper with a picture of laughing Father Christmas holding up a sign saying Not you dickhead underneath the white text Merry Christmas Everyone!

Available from 22nd October
Merry Christmas Everyone Gift Wrap x 3 Sheets
£4.25 (DMW 58)
A light pink Christmas card with random red, pink, white and green spots surrounding red and green text that reads Have a nice jolly festive fuck you
Jolly festive fuck you Card
£2.95 (RAN 125)
A simple orange postcard with rounded capitalised pink text in the middle that reads Take no shit and give no fucks

Available from 22nd October
Take no shit Postcard
£1.15 (DPO 142)

Available from 22nd October
I'm So Excited It's Postcard
£1.15 (DPO 104)
A Christmas card with a vintage illustration of sacred heart Jesus
Totally Rock The Beard Card
£2.95 (DMX 271)
A wrapping paper with the repeating image of a smiling vintage snowmen illustrations against a festive red background

Available from 22nd October
Retro snowman Gift Wrap x 3 Sheets
£4.25 (DMW 51)
Nothing Says I Love You Valentines Card
£2.95 (DMV 114)
A lavender birthday card with a vintage style drawing of a smiling man in a suit holding up alcohol
Alcohol Will Make It All Better Card
£2.95 (DME 50)
A birthday card featuring a glamourous african american woman in a swimsuit holding up a pair of sunglasses against a dark pink background
Almost as fabulous as me Card
£2.95 (DMA 488)
A birthday card with a retro photo of an exasperated woman
Sold Out

Available from 22nd October
I know it's your birthday Card
£1.00 £2.95
A funny card, perfect for Father's Day with a retro picture of a smiling Dad holding his smiling son by the jaw. The child says Dad, when i grow up i want to be as funny as you think you are
As funny as you think you are Card
£2.95 (DMU 250)
A white text based Christmas card with black, green and red text
Hope Your Xmas Isn't Shit Card
£2.95 (RAN 38)
A Christmas card with a staged photo of Jesus looking intense with his hands clasped
Jesus Christ, It's Christmas Again! Card
£2.95 (DMX 257)
A birthday card with a 1960s photo of a male and female couple, hands raised over their eyes looking at camera
Massive Bellend Card
£2.95 (DMU 211)
This Christmas badge features bold white text reading Santa's Little Wanker over a red background
Sold Out

Available from 22nd October
Santa's Little Wanker Badge
£2.00
Dogs Are So Much Better Than Kids
£2.95 (DMA 424)
A greeting card with a picture of an angry Donald Trump
Sold Out
Donald Trump Hates You Card
£2.95
A dark blue birthday card with simple white, yellow, pink and blue text that reads Remember when you could easily knock out four wanks in a day?
Kock out four wanks Card
£2.95 (RAN 171)
A funny birthday card with a retro photo of an excited woman holding her hands to her head against a blue background
I'm so excited it's your Card
£2.95 (DMA 556)
A white ballpoint pen with a purple grip and black ink. Purple text on one side reads I cunt spell

Available from 22nd October
I Cunt Spell Pen
£3.50 (PEN 38)
A blue Christmas card with a picture of a smiling Father Christmas looking at the camera and holding a big read sack
Sold Out
Huge package Card
£2.75
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling man holding a mini Christmas tree and presents
Jingle Bollocks Card
£2.95 (DMX 277)
Save 43%

Available from 22nd October
You Sir Are a Knob Mug
£5.00 £8.75 (DMM 31)

Available from 22nd October
Santa Knows You've Been a Knob Badge
£2.00 (DMD 223)
A birthday card with a retro picture of a cheerleader dressed all in white jumping excitedly into the air
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
OMG! I'm So excited Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMA 465)
Satisfying shit Card
£2.95 (RAN 70)
A plain white birthday card with bold black text that reads You're lucky you got a card
Lucky you got a card Card
£2.95 (RAN 117)
Sold Out

Available from 22nd October
Festive AF Card
£0.50 £2.95
Bright white wrapping paper with the words Happy birthday you big gay in capitalised angular rainbow font

Available from 22nd October
Happy Birthday You Big Gay Gift Wrap x 3 Sheets
£4.25 (DMW 27)
A Valentines card featuring a couple of an old couple in their swimsuits on a busy beach
Let's grow old together Valentines Card
£2.95 (DMA 464)
A funny Birthday card about Boris Johnson and level up
Save 83%

Available from 22nd October
Boris Johnson Level Up Card
£0.50 £2.95 (DMA 421)
A Fathers Day card with a retro picture of a smiling man looking at camera
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
Dad You're A Legend! Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMA 239)
A dark blue birthday card with simple white, yellow, pink and blue text that reads I'm not saying you're old.. .. but if you were a banana you'd be bread
Banana you'd be bread Card
£2.95 (RAN 164)
A funny Birthday card featuring a care nurse smiling and talking to an older man using a walking frame. She says Happy Birthday you decrepit old fossil
Decrepit old fossil Card
£2.95 (DMU 261)
A bright pink coaster with the words ‘Mother knows best!’ in blue, yellow and white 3D, doodling style font
Save 85%

Available from 22nd October
Mother Knows Best Coaster
£0.50 £3.25 (DMT 101)
A black Valentines card with red and white text that reads My cock Your arse. Who says romance is dead?
My cock your arse Valentine's Day Card
£2.95 (DMV 150)
A funny Father's Day card with a retro picture of a smiling father and son both looking to camera. White and dark blue rounded text above and next to them reads Like father like son. That's right, I'm a dick too
Like father like son Card
£2.95 (DMA 544)
A birthday card with a 1960s picture of a sarcastic but excited young woman against a blue background. Text above and beside her reads Oh look it's your Birthday. I'm so excited I might just wet myself
Oh look it's your birthday Card
£2.95 (DMA 535)

Available from 22nd October
Sick Of This Shit Badge
£2.00 (DMD 268)
A circular pink patterned birthday card with 70's style blue font that reads Oh my fuck you're so old
You're so old Card
£2.95 (RAN 116)
A white ballpoint pen with a dark red grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads I've stuck this pen up my bum

Available from 22nd October
Stuck This Pen Up My Bum Pen
£3.50 (PEN 16)
A white ballpoint pen with a green grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads Crazy cat lady

Available from 22nd October
Crazy Cat Lady Pen
£3.50 (PEN 04)
A red text based Christmas card with a red candy cane border
Sold Out

Available from 22nd October
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year To Get Shitfaced Card
£1.00 £2.95
A text based Christmas card with a green background and snow
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
Wishing You The Merriest Christmas Ever Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DSX 05)
A dark blue postcard with pastel multicoloured text in the middle that reads You are a bloody amazing human being

Available from 22nd October
Amazing human being Postcard
£1.15 (DPO 132)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling woman in a red blouse against a green background
Alexa, Cancel Card
£2.95 (DMX 279)
A very light pink birthday card with a retro style drawing of a young man in a white vest top and shorts
Sold Out

Available from 22nd October
You Shit Rainbows Card
£1.00 £2.95
A bight red and white Christmas badge with white and green rounded text that reads Merry Christmas everyone! Except you dickhead

Available from 22nd October
Except you dickhead Badge
£2.00 (DMD 315)

Available from 22nd October
Merry Christmas Bum Face Badge
£2.00 (DMD 265)

Available from 22nd October
Festive AF Badge
£2.00 (DMD 226)
A birthday card with a retro picture of a smiling older man side on looking to camera holding a pint of beer
Is beer involved Card
£2.95 (DMA 528)
A birthday card with a retro picture of a sweet looking little girl holding a bunch of flowers
From your little shit girl Card
£2.95 (DMA 491)
A Funny Fathers Day card with a retro picture of a charming young girl
Little Shit Girl Card
£2.95 (DMA 390)
A birthday card featuring a picture of a sensational woman lying on the floor next to a leopard
Most Amazing Person Card
£2.95 (DMA 354)
Festive fuckwit December Card
£2.95 (RAN 66)
A white ballpoint pen with a black grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads Piss off, I'm busy!
Sold Out

Available from 22nd October
Piss Off, I'm Busy Pen
£3.50
A white ballpoint pen with text on one side reads Don't steal my fucking pen!

Available from 22nd October
Don't Steal My Fucking Pen Pen
£3.50 (PEN 02)
A Christmas card featuring a 1960s picture of Santa Claus looking exasperated against a blue background. Bold white text above reads Merry whatever arsehole
Merry whatever arsehole Card
£2.95 (DMX 339)
Save 64%

Available from 22nd October
You Big Knob Jockey Fridge Magnet
£1.00 £2.75 (DMG 27)
A gay birthday card with a 1950s picture of a man looking to camera
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
Happy Birthday You Big Knob Jockey Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMA 28)
A black Valentines card with white and pink text that reads I fucking love you and i love fucking you
I fucking love you Valentine's Day Card
£2.95 (DMV 148)
A greeting card with a retro picture of a sickly sweet girl lying down in a field of flowers looking up and smiling
Not going to give another fuck Card
£2.95 (DMA 533)
A white ballpoint pen with a pink grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads I've stuck this pen up my fanny

Available from 22nd October
Stuck this pen up my fanny Pen
£3.50 (PEN 61)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of five children carol singing
Sold Out

Available from 22nd October
Carol singers Card
£1.00 £2.95
Christmas wrapping paper with the repeating image of white circles with black, green and red text inside that reads Santa knows you've been a knob

Available from 22nd October
Santa knows Christmas Gift Wrap x 3 Sheets
£4.25 (DMW 56)
Dark yellow wrapping paper with the words ‘Hope your birthday isn’t shit’ in capitalised black and red font repeating across the entire paper

Available from 22nd October
Hope Your Birthday Isn't Shit Gift Wrap x 3 Sheets
£4.25 (DMW 41)
A birthday card with a retro picture of two young woman looking at each other. One is saying You're so outrageous and inappropriate. Can we be friends?
Can we be friends Card
£2.95 (DMU 224)
A birthday card with a 1960's picture of a wealthy looking woman holding up theatre glasses and looking at camera smiling
Some commoner Card
£2.95 (DMU 223)
I love my cat Card
£2.95 (DMU 205)
A white badge with bold black rounded text in the middle the reads Full time cunt

Available from 22nd October
Full time cunt Badge
£2.00 (DMD 327)

Available from 22nd October
I've Jizzed In Your Mince Pies Badge
£2.00 (DMD 228)
A birthday card with a retro image of a smiling female fortune teller looking into her crystal ball
I foresee wine Card
£2.95 (DMA 511)
A birthday card with a retro photo of a smiling teenager dressed a bright red prom dress
You Big Queen Card
£2.95 (DMA 497)
A birthday card with a retro photo of a young girl being presented a birthday cake by both her parents
You little shit Card
£2.95 (DMA 454)
A dark yellow birthday card with bold capitalised black and red text that reads Not dead yet.
Not dead yet Card
£2.95 (RAN 172)
A novelty mug with a retro picture of an a bored looking girl looking into the middle distance. White rounded text above her reads Here's to another day of dealing with everyone's shit

Available from 22nd October
Another day of dealing Mug
£8.75 (DMM 41)
A funny birthday card with a vintage photo of four young women walking along a beach in swimsuits. One of them asks Which one of us is the bad influence?
Bad influence Card
£2.95 (DMU 254)
A Christmas card with a vintage photo of two young women both sitting looking forward with their hair in commercial hair dryers. White rounded text above reads Merry Christmas Bestie
Merry Christmas Bestie Card
£2.95 (DMX 351)
A Valentine's Day card featuring a retro picture of a smiling young man and woman. The woman says I really love you, to which the man replies I love you too! Oh, and I had the most amazing shit this morning!
Amazing shit Valentines Card
£2.95 (DMU 242)
A black Christmas card with white and rainbow slanted capital letters reading Have a merry LGBTQIABCOHMYGODYASSBITCHYASSXYZ+ Christmas
Merry LGBTQI+ Christmas
£2.95 (RAN 80)
A Christmas card with a bright rainbow pattern. In the middle is bold white rounded text with a black outline that reads Happy Holigays
Happy Holigays Card
£2.95 (RAN 124)
A light blue birthday card with plain black text and tickboxes that reads The sender / recipient of this card has a / is a massive dick
Massive dick Card
£2.95 (RAN 120)
A white ballpoint pen with a black grip and black ink. Bold black text reads Full time cunt

Available from 22nd October
Full time cunt Pen
£3.50 (PEN 74)
A white ballpoint pen with a yellow grip and black ink. Curvy pale yellow text with a black outline reads Filthy cum slut

Available from 22nd October
Filthy Cum Slut Pen
£3.50 (PEN 54)
Christmas wrapping paper with a grey, snowflake background and a picture of a very grumpy looking man with the words ‘Oh look it’s Christmas excuse me while I shit myself with excitement’

Available from 22nd October
Shit Myself Christmas Gift Wrap x 3 Sheets
£4.25 (DMW 46)
Play On My Big Organ Valentines Card
£2.95 (DMU 160)
A coaster with the text that reads Epic Beer Stuff
Save 85%

Available from 22nd October
Epic Beer Stuff Coaster
£0.50 £3.25 (DMT 136)
A pale yellow striped coaster with a retro-style photo of a smiling mum and her two children kissing her cheeks
Save 62%

Available from 22nd October
OMFG! Get These Things Off Me Coaster
£1.25 £3.25 (DMT 123)
Save 82%

Available from 22nd October
Fuck Trains (and Buses) Wallet
£0.50 £2.75 (DMO 33)

Available from 22nd October
I Hate Pigeons Badge
£2.00 (DMD 141)

Available from 22nd October
Do I Look Like I Fly Economy Badge
£2.00 (DMD 07)
A birthday card with a picture of a smiling young dark haired girl wearing a party hat and sitting in front of a birthday cake. White and pink, blue and yellow text reads When life gives you birthday eat cake
Eat cake Card
£2.95 (DMA 525)
A birthday card with a retro picture of a sweet looking little boy holding an ice cream cone
From your little shit boy Card
£2.95 (DMA 492)
<br> A funny bright deep yellow birthday card with bold pink and blue text that reads You're at the age where you can laugh, fart, sneeze and wee all at the same time
Laugh fart sneeze and wee Card
£2.95 (DBA 04)
A funny birthday card with a retro photo of a young woman in a stripy dress on the phone. She is asking Let's make our usual mistake of drinking too much prosecco
Too much prosecco Card
£2.95 (DMU 255)
Nice big card suitable for a group leaving card. A black card with multicoloured whimsical text that reads Your new workmates won't be as amazing as us

Available from 22nd October
Your new workmates (Large Card)
£4.00 (DML 24)
A light pink Christmas wrapping paper with the red and green text repeated that says Here's a nice jolly festive fuck you

Available from 22nd October
Jolly festive fuck you Gift Wrap x 3 Sheets
£4.25 (DMW 57)
A bold black birthday card featuring simple white, yellow, blue and pink text in the middle that reads I never knew they made birthday cards especially for stupid cunts
Especially for stupid cunts Card
£2.95 (RAN 106)
A simple white birthday card featuring bold black text in the middle that reads Fuck all inside this card
Fuck all inside Card
£2.95 (RAN 102)
A funny text based birthday card about doing a big poo
I've done a big poo Card
£2.95 (POP 14)
A sunny yellow birthday card with the words Happy birthday wanker in capitalised purple, blue and white chunky font
Happy Birthday Wanker Card
£2.95 (DSS 28)
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
Hello, Were You Mis-sold PPI Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMU 78)
Only My Dog Understands Me Card
£2.95 (DMU 198)
A red, white and green Christmas badge with a black band across the middle. Rounded white text inside the band reads Merry kiss my ass

Available from 22nd October
Merry kiss my ass Badge
£2.00 (DMD 310)
A white badge with rounded lower case green and red text that reads Jingle my balls

Available from 22nd October
Jingle my balls Badge
£2.00 (DMD 307)

Available from 22nd October
Enjoy Your Big Christmas Poo Badge
£2.00 (DMD 267)

Available from 22nd October
Jingle Bollocks Badge
£2.00 (DMD 242)
Happy Birthday Bestie Card
£2.95 (DMA 485)
A greeting card with a picture of a 1960s woman blowing a streamer surrounded by balloons
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
Let's Celebrate Another Day Without Wankers Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMA 411)
A funny birthday card featuring a 1960s photos of a smiling pensioner couple looking to the camera
Inside every old person Card
£2.95 (DMA 593)
A funny retro birthday card with a man and woman in a close smooch. She says I always get a warm feeling when I'm around you to which he replies That's because I've just farted
Warm feeling when you're around Card
£2.95 (DMU 263)
A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink. Red text on one side reads I work with idiots
Sold Out

Available from 22nd October
I Work With Idiots Pen
£3.50
Not Bored Of You Yet Valentines Card
£2.95 (DMV 117)
Goodbye Youth Card
£2.95 (DMU 139)
A card for mums with a pink union jack on and the words ‘Put your feet up mum’ in capitalised, simple white font below a white crown logo
Save 83%

Available from 22nd October
Put Your Feet Up Mum Card
£0.50 £2.95 (DMS 52)
A rude badge with a blue and pink circular pattern. Lowercase white rounded text with a black outline reads Filthy cum slut

Available from 22nd October
Filthy Cum Slut Badge
£2.00 (DMD 74)

Available from 22nd October
I Love Anal Badge
£2.00 (DMD 54)
A greeting card with a retro picture of a young woman holding a glass of prosecco
Prosecco Princess Card
£2.95 (DMA 300)
A square red Christmas card with white text reading 98% cheese
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
98% Cheese Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DBX 07)
A funny birthday card with a modern photo of a topless middle aged overweight and sunburnt man smiling and wearing a comedy sombrero. White text above and in front of him reads Happy birthday hot stuff
Happy birthday hot stuff Card
£2.95 (DMA 574)
A funny birthday card featuring a 1960s picture of a glamorous African American young woman in a glittery ballgown against a pink background
Happy Birthday princess Card
£2.95 (DMA 546)
A white greeting card with rounded alternating black and red text surrounded by cute little multicoloured penises
To you and your Card
£2.95 (RAN 76)
A white ballpoint pen with an orange grip and black ink. Brown text on one side reads I need a poo!

Available from 22nd October
I Need A Poo! Pen
£3.50 (PEN 14)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture a young woman smiling wearing a winter hat and mittens
Blah Blah Wine Gin Blah Card
£2.95 (DMX 264)
A bold pink Valentine’s Day card with the words I’ll fancy you even more if you bring me wine
Sold Out

Available from 22nd October
I'll Fancy You Even More If You Bring Me Wine Valentines Card
£0.50 £2.95
I could shit rainbows funny Valentines Card
£2.95 (DMV 127)
Love you almost as much as the cat Valentines card
£2.95 (DMV 125)
A grey coaster with a retro-style photo of a shirtless man flexing
Sold Out

Available from 22nd October
Here's Some Gratuitous Man Flesh For The Table Coaster
£1.25 £3.25
A jet black card with the words ‘Fuck bollocks wank arsehole shit bastard knob tosser’ in capitalised rainbow font.
Fuck Bollocks Wank Arsehole Shit Baster Knob Tosser Card
£2.95 (DMR 01)
Sold Out

Available from 22nd October
Union Jack Blue Wallet
£0.50 £2.75
Save 43%

Available from 22nd October
You Big Man Whore Mug
£5.00 £8.75 (DMM 15)
Save 64%

Available from 22nd October
Because I'm Beautiful ... That's Why Keyring
£1.00 £2.75 (DMK 34)
A pale yellow birthday card with a retro style drawing of a happy woman popping her head in the corner of the card
May Your Birthday Be Filled With Joy *and Wine Card
£2.95 (DME 56)
A leopard print pattered badge covered with text reading Total Slag

Available from 22nd October
Total Slag Badge
£2.00 (DMD 272)
A birthday card with a retro picture of two young women looking to camera without much expression
Available for a night on the wine Card
£2.95 (DMA 517)
A birthday card with a retro photo of a smiling man with glasses, a moustache and lurid green shirt sitting at a work desk
Office wanker Card
£2.95 (DMA 496)
A birthday card with a picture of Boris Johnson standing at a conference lectern which reads live laugh love
Save 83%

Available from 22nd October
Live Laugh Love Boris Johnson Card
£0.50 £2.95 (DMA 461)
Little Shit Girl Mothers Day Card
£2.95 (DMA 386)
Save 83%

Available from 22nd October
Mums, It's How We Roll Card
£0.50 £2.95 (DMA 193)
A bright rainbow coloured birthday card with bold white shadowed text that reads Here's to another year ofbeing fucking fabulous!
Sold Out
Another year of being fabulous Card
£2.95
A funny birthday with smart black text that reads Happy birthday to someone who is just as fabulous and awesome as me in a white circle surrounded by pretty pink flowers
Fabulous and awesome as me Card
£2.95 (RAN 160)
A plain white badge with round black text that reads When did I become the same age as old people?

Available from 22nd October
Same Age as Old People Badge
£2.00 (DMD 343)
A white birthday card with bold rainbow coloured text that reads Big gay birthday card surrounded by equally rainbow dots
Big gay birthday Card
£2.95 (RAN 145)
A funny yellow Mother's Day card with white and pink and blue rounded text that reads It must be such an amazing honour to be my Mother
Amazing honour to be my mother Mother's Day Card
£2.95 (MUM 63)
A funny birthday card with a 1960's photo of a smiling woman pointing up to multicoloured and white text that reads Happy birthday you big tart
Happy Birthday your big tart Card
£2.95 (DMA 548)

Available from 22nd October
Festive AF Postcard
£1.15 (DPO 99)
A white ballpoint pen with a purple grip and black ink. Purple text on one side reads Zero fucks given

Available from 22nd October
Zero Fucks Given Pen
£3.50 (PEN 20)
A bright red birthday card with orange, yellow and white rounded letters that reads Still sexy at 60
Still sexy at 60 Card
£2.95 (DMY 09)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling family looking at camera through a festive wreath
Merry Christmas Wanker Rude
£2.95 (DMX 04)
Deep pink wrapping paper with very small capitalised text repeated across and down reading Nosey cunt
Sold Out

Available from 22nd October
Nosey cunt Gift Wrap x 3 sheets x 3 Sheets
£4.25
Bright red wrapping paper with a picture of a smiling man in a suit with the words ‘You old bastard’ above him in simple white font. This repeats across the entire paper

Available from 22nd October
You old bastard Gift Wrap x 3 sheets x 3 Sheets
£4.25 (DMW 47)
Wrapping paper with a picture of a very grumpy looking cat that has been dressed up in a Santa outfit next to some gifts

Available from 22nd October
See This Cat - Christmas Gift Wrap x 3 Sheets
£4.25 (DMW 34)

Available from 22nd October
Birthday Wanker Gift Wrap x 3 Sheets
£4.25 (DMW 25)
Even Wankers Valentines Card
£2.95 (DMV 124)
Sit On My Face Valentines Card
£2.95 (DMV 108)
A lilac coaster with a retro-style photo of a woman in a bikini holding a beach ball and looking up into the sky

Available from 22nd October
There It Goes! The Last Fuck I Give Coaster
£3.25 (DMT 76)
A black fridge magnet with a picture of William Shakespeare with a white border at the top

Available from 22nd October
Some are born great Fridge Magnet
£2.75 (DMG 142)
A rude badge with the text fuckpig

Available from 22nd October
Fuckpig Badge
£2.00 (DMD 246)

Available from 22nd October
Fuck Fuck Fuckity Fuck Badge
£2.00 (DMD 166)
A birthday card with a retro photo of a 1960's smiling man
You old bastard Card
£2.95 (DMA 446)
A funny Fathers Day card with a 1960s picture of a young boy and his dad
Save 66%

Available from 22nd October
Good News It's Father's Day Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMA 282)
A funny birthday card featuring a retro picture of a middle aged man lying in a hospital bed being visited by his wife
Sold Out
Exhausted after the washing up Card
£2.95
A Plain red Christmas card with a black, green and red text in a white box that reads Sorry I'm far too much of a Scrooge to give a fuck about Christmas but social etiquette requires me to give you a card
Too much a Scrooge Card
£2.95 (RAN 149)
A Christmas card with a retro photograph of a smiling man holding a frothy beer glass. Red, green and white text above reads Merry Christmas is beer involved?
Merry Christmas is beer involved Card
£2.95 (DMX 348)
Black Christmas wrapping paper with repeated text that reads Shove Christmas up your arse surrounded by pastel red, green and white multicoloured dots

Available from 22nd October
Shove Christmas up your arse Gift Wrap x 3 Sheets
£4.25 (DMW 67)
A white ballpoint pen with a black grip and black ink. Black rounded text reads Fresh out of fucks

Available from 22nd October
Fresh out of fucks Pen
£3.50 (PEN 89)
A black birthday card with a very old painting of thirteen serious looking men all looking towards the viewer surrounded by a white border. White formal text above them reads Who farted?
Who farted Card
£2.95 (RAN 155)
A white postcard with rounded black and rainbow coloured text that reads Here's to another day of being fucking fabulous

Available from 22nd October
Fucking fabulous Postcard
£1.15 (DPO 131)
A dark blue birthday card featuring rounded white, blue and yellow text that reads I've lost loads on crypto so be grateful you've still got a card
Save 83%

Available from 22nd October
I've lost loads on crypto Card
£0.50 £2.95 (RAN 99)
A light purple birthday card with bold red text at the top that reads Congrats! You're. Below are tick boxes next to the following stages of life
Congrats you're Card
£2.95 (RAN 132)
A plain white Christmas card with bold black, red and green text that reads Shit Christmas card perfect for an annoying sister
Annoying sister Shit Card
£2.95 (RAN 127)
A white ballpoint pen with a black grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads I love cock

Available from 22nd October
I Love Cock Pen
£3.50 (PEN 18)