PLEASE NOTE: ONLY FULL PRICE CARDS ARE AVAILABLE. ALL GIFTS AND SALE CARDS ARE BACK IN STOCK ON THE 21st JUNE
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Getting Old

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Old floozy Card
£2.75 (DMA 456 Floozy)
A birthday card with a picture of a smiling older woman in a blouse against a deep pink background. White and light pink text above her reads Welcome to middle age. Everyone is annoying and you'll need to wee a lot
Welcome to middle age female Card
£2.75 (DMA 524)
A birthday card with a picture of a smiling group of senior citizens in the sun. White text above them reads You know you're old when all your friends smell of piss
You know you're old Card
£2.75 (DMA 489)
A bright yellow birthday card featuring a trendy elderly lady in a bright red jacket and big sunglasses
Never act your age female Card
£2.75 (DMA 509)
A pale yellow birthday card with a retro style drawing of a happy, well-dressed couple
Hello! Yes You! Card
£2.75 (DME 09)
A funny greeting card with a picture of a smiling man in glasses
Save 64%

Available from 21st June
Older And Still No Wiser Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DMA 337)
A birthday card with a 1960s photo of a smiling sarcastic looking older woman looking at camera
Old Slapper Card
£2.75 (DMA 456)
Save 64%

Available from 21st June
Top of the List Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DMU 178)
A birthday card with a picture of an elderly woman lying at the foot of a set of stairs
Have a fall female Card
£2.75 (DMA 522)
A greeting card with a picture of an intense looking business man with big glasses
Sold Out
Grown Into A Great Man Card
£2.75
A birthday card with a 1960's smiling man holding up a sign that says When people say I'm rude I simply tell the cunts to go fuck themselves
When people say I'm rude Card
£2.75 (DMA 474)
A birthday card with a photo of a smiling elderly woman posing on a surfboard on the shoreside of a sunny beach
Old enough to know better Card
£2.75 (DMA 501)
A Christmas card with a picture of Santa Claus sitting down holding a smiling baby in a mini father Christmas outfit
Shit yourself Card
£2.75 (DMX 321)
You Old Cunt Card
£2.75 (GUM 35)
A funny greeting card with a photo of old people in a swimming pool
Hands up in the pool Card
£2.75 (DMA 450)
A greeting card with a 1960s picture of a news reader at in the studio at a desk
Newsflash! You're Old As Fuck Card
£2.75 (DMA 163)
A birthday card with a picture of a smiling older man in a suit against a blue background. White and light blue text above him reads Welcome to middle age. Everyone is annoying and you'll need to wee a lot
Welcome to middle age male Card
£2.75 (DMA 523)
<br> A funny birthday card with a retro photo of a smiling woman in a flowery top looking to camera. White text beside her reads The older I get the more everyone can go fuck themselves
The older I get Card
£2.75 (DMA 565)
A birthday card with a 1950s picture of two middle aged women close together looking into the distance. One is saying What age are you pretending to be this Birthday?
What age are you pretending to be Card
£2.75 (DMU 245)
A bright yellow birthday card featuring a trendy elderly man in a hawaiian shirt and big sunglasses
Never act your age Male Card
£2.75 (DMA 510)
A birthday card with a 1990s picture of a smiling old couple hugging
May You Live Long And Never Smell Of Wee Card
£2.75 (DMA 190)
A birthday card with a picture of a smiling elderly lady using a walking frame
Hip Hip Replacement Woman Card
£2.75 (DMA 462)
A colourful birthday card reads You'll always be older than me
You'll always be older than me Card
£2.75 (POP 12)
A birthday card with a 1960's picture of a surprised looking woman with black hair and round glasses looking to camera
Lying about your age Card
£2.75 (DMA 479)
A birthday card with a retro picture of a smiling woman eating a sundae
You've Finally Reached That Age Card
£2.75 (DMA 434)
A Funny Greeting Card about never trusting a fart
Never Completely Trust A Fart Card
£2.75 (DMU 143)
A birthday card with retro picture of a smiling elderly couple looking into the distance
Socially acceptable Card
£2.75 (DMA 471)
A birthday card with a 1960s dejected looking old man on the front against a purple background
Don't stress about old age Card
£2.75 (DMA 537)
A funny Birthday card about your back playing up
Born to Be Wild Card
£2.75 (DMA 394)
A birthday card featuring a vintage photo of a moody looking old man in a smart suit pointing to camera. White rounded lower case text above him reads Here's your annual reminder that you're still a grumpy old git
Grumpy Old Git Card
£2.75 (DMA 486)
Age is Just a Number Card
£2.75 (GUM 07)
A greeting card with a 1960s photo of a serious looking older man in deep thought
Same age as old people Card
£2.75 (DMU 239)
A birthday card with a picture of an elderly gentleman lying at the foot of a set of stairs
Have a fall Card
£2.75 (DMA 490)
You're still alive Card
£2.75 (DMA 530)
A birthday card with a 1960s picture of a smiling old man in a fedora hat looking into the distance. He exclaims I've still got it! I just can't remember where I put it
I've still got it Card
£2.75 (DMU 247)
A Christmas card with an 80s picture of an old couple smiling as they open a Christmas card
Give an old person something to live for Card
£2.75 (DMX 310)
A funny birthday card with a retro picture of a smiling middle aged woman excitedly looking up against a dark pink background
Excited about air fryers Card
£2.75 (DMA 582)
A funny rude birthday card with a flowery patter on a yellow background. Black formal text in a white circle at the front reads Here's your annual reminder that you're fucking ancient
Your annual reminder Card
£2.75 (RAN 158)
A birthday card with a 1960s picture of a smiling male patient in an hospital bed
Shit The Bed! Card
£2.75 (DMA 384)
Pissed yourself yet Card
£2.75 (DMU 207)
A funny retro birthday card featuring an elderly man and woman looking away into the distance against a dark blue background. White rounded text beside them reads One minute you're young, the next you're taking your own pillows on holiday
Pillows on holiday Card
£2.75 (DMA 567)
A funny birthday card with a modern picture of two smiling pensions looking to camera on a bus. White and yellow text above reads Congratulations You're one year closer to a free bus pass
Free bus pass Card
£2.75 (DMA 564)
A birthday card with a picture of a smiling old man using a walking frame
Hip Hip Replacement Card
£2.75 (DMA 393)
A bold white birthday card with dark red and black text that reads The three stages of life: 1. Birth 2. My back aches 3. Death
Stages of Life Card
£2.75 (RAN 97)
A birthday card with a retro picture of a doctor and nurse chatting to a middle aged lady in her hospital bed
Doctor my back aches Card
£2.75 (DMU 229)
A funny birthday card with a retro picture of a wise old man in shaman robes looking wise infront of a rainbow starburst
He who is old and wise Card
£2.75 (DMA 553)
A birthday card with a retro photo of a smiling old lady in yellow blouse. Pink and yellow rounded text reads Happy Birthday
From one old tart Card
£2.75 (DMA 495)
Happy Birthday You Old Fucker Card
£2.75 (DMU 61)
A funny birthday card with a 1960's photo of a serious looking man sitting at a desk next to a World globe. Text above reads Age is just a number. In your case a very big number
Age is Just a Number Card
£2.75 (DMA 550)
A funny birthday card with a retro photo of a serious looking man pointing and looking to camera
Let's get a few things straight Card
£2.75 (DMA 547)
A birthday card with a photo of a 1970s smiling woman in a yellow dress
Young and Fancy Free Card
£2.75 (DMA 453)
A simple funny dark blue birthday card with white, yellow, blue and pink text that reads No one tells you that once you reach this age you'll ache all the fucking time
Ache all the time Card
£2.75 (RAN 161)
A retro birthday card with a vintage photo of a smiling old man with grey hair in a white top and pointing. White and light blue rounded text above him reads Happy Birthday grey pubes
Happy birthday grey pubes Card
£2.75 (DMA 531)
A funny retro birthday card featuring a smiling man with his hands behind his head lying in bed. He's saying You're finally at the age where your bladder wakes you up before your alarm clock
Bladder wakes you up Card
£2.75 (DMU 259)
A lavender birthday card with a vintage style drawing of a smiling man in a suit holding up alcohol
Alcohol Will Make It All Better Card
£2.75 (DME 50)
Pale yellow wrapping paper with a vintage style drawing of a smiling, well-dressed man and a woman repeated across the entire paper

Available from 21st June
Hello Yes You The Old One! Gift Wrap x 3 Sheets
£4.25 (DMW 28)
A plain white birthday card with bold black text that reads You're lucky you got a card
Lucky you got a card Card
£2.75 (RAN 117)
A Valentines card featuring a couple of an old couple in their swimsuits on a busy beach
Let's grow old together Valentines Card
£2.75 (DMA 464)
A birthday card with a retro picture of a hand about to dial a number on an old bakerlite phone. White curved text above and beside the picture reads This is a phone. This is what old people use. Old people like you
Save 64%

Available from 21st June
This is a phone Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DMA 494)
A yellow birthday card with a vintage illustration of two smiling children's faces. Above and below multi coloured text reads Happy birthday you old fossil
Happy birthday you old fossil Card
£2.75 (RAN 170)
A circular pink patterned birthday card with 70's style blue font that reads Oh my fuck you're so old
You're so old Card
£2.75 (RAN 116)
A dark blue birthday card with simple white, yellow, pink and blue text that reads Remember when you could easily knock out four wanks in a day?
Kock out four wanks Card
£2.75 (RAN 171)
A funny Birthday card featuring a care nurse smiling and talking to an older man using a walking frame. She says Happy Birthday you decrepit old fossil
Decrepit old fossil Card
£2.75 (DMU 261)
A dark blue birthday card with simple white, yellow, pink and blue text that reads I'm not saying you're old.. .. but if you were a banana you'd be bread
Banana you'd be bread Card
£2.75 (RAN 164)
A plain white badge with round black text that reads When did I become the same age as old people?

Available from 21st June
Same Age as Old People Badge
£2.00 (DMD 343)
A bright red birthday card with orange, yellow and white rounded letters that reads Still sexy at 60
Still sexy at 60 Card
£2.75 (DMY 09)
A light purple birthday card with bold red text at the top that reads Congrats! You're. Below are tick boxes next to the following stages of life
Congrats you're Card
£2.75 (RAN 132)
Bright red wrapping paper with a picture of a smiling man in a suit with the words ‘You old bastard’ above him in simple white font. This repeats across the entire paper

Available from 21st June
You old bastard Gift Wrap x 3 sheets x 3 Sheets
£4.25 (DMW 47)
A birthday card with 1960s picture of a smiling older man with a white box above him
The older I get Card
£2.75 (DMA 472)
A dark yellow birthday card with bold capitalised black and red text that reads Not dead yet.
Not dead yet Card
£2.75 (RAN 172)
A birthday card with a retro photo of a 1960's smiling man
You old bastard Card
£2.75 (DMA 446)
A birthday card with a 1960's picture of a stern looking woman in a pink blouse holding one hand up to camera
The whole 29 again routine Card
£2.75 (DMU 222)
A funny birthday card with a modern photo of a topless middle aged overweight and sunburnt man smiling and wearing a comedy sombrero. White text above and in front of him reads Happy birthday hot stuff
Happy birthday hot stuff Card
£2.75 (DMA 574)
A black birthday card with a very old painting of thirteen serious looking men all looking towards the viewer surrounded by a white border. White formal text above them reads Who farted?
Who farted Card
£2.75 (RAN 155)
A birthday card with a 1960s of an shocked elderly man looking to camera. Above him blue and red capitalised text reads OMG! You're how old
OMG You're how old Card
£2.75 (DMA 513)
A birthday card with a retro picture of a smiling elderly gentleman in his toolshed
Not giving a fuck Card
£2.75 (DMA 515)
A birthday card with a 1960s picture of a smiling old man smoking a pipe
You're Now An Old Fart Card
£2.75 (DMA 189)
A birthday with a retro photo of an elderly couple loading golf clubs into their car boot. He says Ouch! My back is stiff to which she replies It's the only thing that is these days
My back is stiff Card
£2.75 (DMU 257)
A white ballpoint pen with a black grip and black ink. Black rounded text reads Fresh out of fucks

Available from 21st June
Fresh out of fucks Pen
£3.50 (PEN 89)
A funny birthday card with a photo of two old people opening up a greeting card
Give an old person something to live for Card
£2.75 (DMA 445)
A birthday card with a 1960s photo of a female call centre operator looking direct to the camera
Save 64%

Available from 21st June
Your birthday is important to us Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DMA 504)
A Fathers Day card with a picture of a cool old guy in an floral shirt
Daddy Cool Card for Dad
£2.75 (DMA 438)
A bright yellow badge with bold square capital letters that read Not dead yet.

Available from 21st June
Not dead yet Badge
£2.00 (DMD 350)
A fridge magnet with a photo of a mixed group of excited pensioners with their hands up in a swimming pool

Available from 21st June
Pissed in the pool Fridge Magnet
£2.75 (DMG 146)
A bright yellow badge with bold rounded deep pink and blue text that reads Never act your age

Available from 21st June
Never act your age Badge
£2.00 (DMD 339)
A funny birthday with an elderly smiling couple looking away into the middle distance. In a slanted white box above them dark red and blue text teads Don't grow up, It's a trap
Don't grow up Card
£2.75 (DMA 573)
A funny rude birthday card with white, blue, yellow and pink simple text that reads The man in the shop told me that this card would make even the most miserable bugger laugh
The man in the shop Card
£2.75 (RAN 156)
A funny birthday card with a retro picture of a smiling male magician holding a deck of cards. White and yellow text above and behind reads As if by magic you're now old!
As if by magic you're now old Card
£2.75 (DMA 563)
A red birthday card with a 1960s photo of a young woman praying in a blue blouse
Just a Fart Card
£2.75 (DMU 212)
A bright purple birthday card with red, blue and white rounded letters that reads Have a Fab 50
Have a fab 50 Card
£2.75 (DMY 08)
A funny birthday card featuring a retro picture of a middle aged man lying in a hospital bed being visited by his wife
Exhausted after the washing up Card
£2.75 (DMU 267)
A funny birthday card with a retro photo a frowning older male looking at the camera with very little hair. White text above him reads There's now more hair in your nose and ears than on the top of your head
More hair in your nose Card
£2.75 (DMA 559)
A greeting Card with a photo of a typical British messy shed at the bottom of the garden
Dad shed Card
£2.75 (DMA 508)
Save 82%

Available from 21st June
I Love Your Ironic Facial Hair Valentines Card
£0.50 £2.75 (DMV 66)
Sold Out

Available from 21st June
See This Cat It Doesn't Give a Fuck About You Fridge Magnet
£2.75
A birthday card with a 1960s photo of an old smiling man sat at a desk
Cheer Up! You're Not Dead Yet Card
£2.75 (DMA 366)
A birthday card with a picture of a naked old man on a beach holding a big yellow sign
With Age Comes Wisdom Card
£2.75 (DMA 351)
A fridge magnet with a picture of a smiling older woman in a blouse against a deep pink background. White and light pink text above her reads Welcome to middle age. Everyone is annoying and you'll need to wee a lot

Available from 21st June
Welcome to middle age Fridge Magnet
£2.75 (DMG 155)
A white ballpoint pen with a black grip and black text that reads Not dead yet

Available from 21st June
Not dead yet Pen
£3.50 (PEN 85)
A bright turquoise birthday card with yellow, pink and white rounded letters that reads Epic icon 80
Epic icon 80 Card
£2.75 (DMY 11)

Available from 21st June
Smell Of Wee Fridge Magnet Funny
£2.75 (DMG 113)
A baby pink birthday card with a vintage style drawing of a dressed up woman looking knowingly at you
How To Get Drunk Properly Card
£2.75 (DME 31)
A birthday card with a 1960's photo of three men sideways looking to the camera against a red background
Old fart club Card
£2.75 (DMA 499)
A funny birthday card featuring a 1960s photos of a smiling pensioner couple looking to the camera
Inside every old person Card
£2.75 (DMA 593)
A striped card in alternating shades of blue with a vintage style photo of a middle aged man
Happy Birthday You Old Bugger Card
£2.75 (DME 54)
A birthday card with 1960s photo of a middle aged man with his finger to his mouth making a shh noise
Really really old Card
£2.75 (DMU 227)
A coaster with a photo of a mixed group of excited pensioners with their hands up in a swimming pool

Available from 21st June
Pissed in the pool Coaster
£3.25 (DMT 207)

Available from 21st June
Newsflash! You're Old As Fuck Fridge Magnet
£2.75 (DMG 105)
Nimble nifty 90 Card
£2.75 (DMY 12)
A bright yellow birthday card with pink, purple and white rounded letters that reads Super duper 70
Super duper 70 Card
£2.75 (DMY 10)
A coaster with a picture of a smiling elderly standing on a surfboard on the beach

Available from 21st June
Old enough to know better Coaster
£3.25 (DMT 210)
A funny birthday card with a retro image of a man looking shocked at being old
Bloody Hell You got Old Card
£2.75 (DMA 404)
A funny birthday card featuring a 1970s smiling man laughing and pointing to the camera saying I wouldn't be celebrating a birthday at your age
Celebrating a Birthday at your age Card
£2.75 (DMU 273)
A funny card, perfect for Father's Day with a retro picture of a smiling man in a smart suit looking to camera. He's saying Who's the Daddy
Who's the Daddy Card
£2.75 (DMU 251)
A funny Fathers Day card with a 1960s photo of a man scratching his head
You've still got it Dad Card
£2.75 (DMA 440)
A funny birthday card featuring a retro picture of a two middle aged men sat at at a cafe counter with cups of tea
What did you get up to last night Card
£2.75 (DMU 272)
A funny birthday card featuring a retro picture of a smiling middle aged man in a smart suit. White and purple text above him reads Happy birthday from one creaky old fart to another
Creaky old Fart Card
£2.75 (DMA 597)
A dark blue badge with white and light blue text that reads Grey pubes guy

Available from 21st June
Grey pubes guy Badge
£2.00 (DMD 368)
A retro coaster with a picture of a smiling older man in a suit against a deep blue background. White and light blue text above and beside him reads Welcome to middle age. Everyone is annoying and you'll need to wee a lot

Available from 21st June
Welcome to middle age male Coaster
£3.25 (DMT 227)
A retro coaster with a picture of a smiling older woman in a blouse against a deep pink background. White and light pink text above and beside her reads Welcome to middle age. Everyone is annoying and you'll need to wee a lot

Available from 21st June
Welcome to middle age female Coaster
£3.25 (DMT 226)
A text based funny birthday card for Dad
Dad how many birthdays could you possibly want?
£2.75 (POP 03)
Old is the New Young Card
£2.75 (GUM 21)
A birthday card with a 1960s picture of a young paperboy holding a paper
Extra Extra You've got old Card
£2.75 (DMA 457)