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Funny & Rude Christmas Cards, Xmas Cards & UK Sale

Welcome to our funny Xmas card ranges available, including new cards, fresh for Christmas 2025! We’ve great selections of rude cards and funny Christmas card packs for friends and family. Choose from the pictures to view the full selection of Christmas cards available including discounted sale items.

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Jesus presents Card
£2.95 (DMX 328)
Fuck Off Santa Card
£2.95 (DMX 244)
To a Special Cunt this Card
£2.95 (DMX 01)
Jesus Out Of My Way Bitches Card
£2.95 (DMU 101)
Let's Call Him Wayne Card
£2.95 (DMX 194)
Season of Goodwill Card
£2.95 (DMX 22)
Difference between dogs and cats Card
£2.95 (DMX 300)
Shit Himself Again Card
£2.95 (DMX 280)
Sold Out
Merry Fucking Cunty Bollocks Card
£2.95
You're On The Cunt List Card
£2.95 (DMX 06)
Sucking Santa Card
£2.95 (DMX 20)
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
Just Off Down The Pub Cards
£1.00 £2.95 (DMX 272)
It's beginning to look a lot like fuck this Card
£2.95 (DMX 327)
It's My Birthday And I Want A Pony! Card
£2.95 (DMX 179)
Shit yourself Card
£2.95 (DMX 321)
I should enjoy Card
£2.95 (DMX 334)
Oh Look It's Card
£2.95 (DMX 269)
Sold Out
Robin in the snow Card
£2.95
Santa take a shit Card
£2.95 (RAN 148)
Merry Christmas Bum Face Card
£2.95 (DMX 283)
Sold Out

Available from 25th May
I've Jizzed In Your Mince Pies Cards
£1.00 £2.95
Most amazing person Card
£2.95 (DMX 330)
Festive AF Card
£2.95 (DMX 263)
Jesus, Mary and Joseph Card
£2.95 (DMX 307)
Sold Out
You're a cunt list Card
£2.95
Santa Thinks You're a Cunt Card
£2.95 (DMX 03)
Too Much Wanking Card
£2.95 (DMX 137)
That look you give Card
£2.95 (DMX 311)
These are mine Card
£2.95 (DMX 302)
Magnificent bastard Card
£2.95 (DMX 325)
Santa's Coming Card
£2.95 (DMX 189)
As far from my family as possible Card
£2.95 (DMX 337)
Sold Out

Available from 25th May
Poo in your shoe Card
£1.00 £2.95
Mostly gin Card
£2.95 (DMX 317)
Second favourite C-word Card
£2.95 (DMX 361)
Sold Out
Merry Christmas To One Fantastic Bitch Card
£2.95
Same Shit Card
£2.95 (DMX 270)
Merry Christmas dickhead Card
£2.95 (DMX 329)
Pigs in blankets Card
£2.95 (DMX 338)

Available from 25th May
Bubbles Card Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 (MUL 12)
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
All I Want For Christmas Is Cats Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMX 237)

Available from 25th May
Offensive Card Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 (MUL 19)
Jesus happy birthday Card
£2.95 (DMX 301)
Sold Out

Available from 25th May
Random Card Pack of 10 Multipack
£5.99
Fuck off Card
£2.95 (DMX 296)
See This Cat. It Doesn't Give A Fuck About Your Card
£2.95 (DMX 213)
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
Thanks I hate it Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMX 304)
A funny personalisable Christmas card featuring a picture of jolly Santa Claus in his workshop pointing to camera with white text above that reads Nothing for you - name - you're a cunt!
Personalise This Card

Nothing your you Card
£3.50 (WEB 18)
Hands up who fancies wine Card
£2.95 (DMX 318)
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
Insufferable festive excitement Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMX 316)
Sold Out
Merry Cunting Card
£2.95
Save 75%

Available from 25th May
Eat Drink And Be Merry Card
£0.75 £2.95 (DSX 01)

Available from 25th May
Santa Christmas Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 (MUL 26)
Water into mulled wine Card
£2.95 (DMX 313)
What Are You Getting This Christmas Mummy Card
£2.95 (DMX 193)
Merry Christmas from the dog Card
£2.95 (DMX 308)
Elf Name Card
£2.95 (RAN 45)
Sold Out

Available from 25th May
Unnecessarily offensive Santa Card
£1.00 £2.95
All About You Card
£2.95 (DMX 291)
Gin Delivery Card
£2.95 (DMX 284)
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
Selfish, Ungrateful Family Cards
£1.00 £2.95 (DMX 276)
Shove this Christmas card up your arse Card
£2.95 (RAN 151)
Even Wankers Deserve A Card
£2.95 (DMX 292)
Sold Out

Available from 25th May
Pulsating Orgasmatron Card
£1.00 £2.95
Santa Knows You've Been a Knob Card
£2.95 (DMX 232)
Especially for stupid cunts Card
£2.95 (RAN 108)
I bought you wine Card
£2.95 (DMX 335)
You little shit Card
£2.95 (DMX 336)
Merry Christmas from the cat Card
£2.95 (DMX 309)
You're Gayer Than Kylie Riding A Pink Unicorn Card
£2.95 (DMR 51)
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
Carol singers Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMX 314)
Sold Out

Available from 25th May
Cheeky Cards Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50
Not you dickhead Card
£2.95 (DMX 312)
Sold Out
Enjoy your big Christmas poo Card
£2.95
Merry Christmas Human Card
£2.95 (DMX 349)
Hunt you down Card
£2.95 (DMX 344)
Save 75%

Available from 25th May
Wanking In A Winter Wonderland Card
£0.75 £2.95 (DSX 12)
A funny personalisable Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling couple holding christmas presents with white text above them that reads Merry Christmas to the best couple in - town name
Personalise This Card

Merry Christmas to the best couple Card
£3.50 (WEB 24)
Save 83%

Available from 25th May
Clueless Boris Card
£0.50 £2.95 (DMX 11)
Hope Your Xmas Isn't Shit Card
£2.95 (RAN 38)
Your Christmas is important Card
£2.95 (DMX 326)
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
You're A Massive Festive Bellend Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMX 247)
Merry Christmas Bestie Card
£2.95 (DMX 351)
Jolly festive fuck you Card
£2.95 (RAN 125)
Screw the diet Card
£2.95 (DMX 333)
Save 75%

Available from 25th May
Wishing You The Merriest Christmas Ever Card
£0.75 £2.95 (DSX 05)
Totally Rock The Beard Card
£2.95 (DMX 271)
Sold Out
Jesus Christ, It's Christmas Again! Card
£2.95
Merry Christmas tinsel tits Card
£2.95 (DMX 356)
Too much a Scrooge Card
£2.95 (RAN 149)
It's not what it looks like Card
£2.95 (DMX 363)
Merry Christmas is beer involved Card
£2.95 (DMX 348)
Merry whatever arsehole Card
£2.95 (DMX 339)
Jingle Bollocks Card
£2.95 (DMX 277)
Sold Out
Let's take the stable Card
£2.95
Alexa, Cancel Card
£2.95 (DMX 279)
Jesus Christmas Multipack of 10 cards

Available from 25th May
Jesus Cards Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 (MUL 57)
Blah Blah Wine Gin Blah Card
£2.95 (DMX 264)
A funny personalisable Christmas card featuring a picture of a smiling Santa Claus pointing upwards to jolly white text that reads Merry Christmas to the biggest dickhead in - town name
Personalise This Card

Merry Christmas to the biggest dickhead Card
£3.50 (WEB 25)
Festive fuckwit December Card
£2.95 (RAN 66)
Sold Out

Available from 25th May
Merry LGBTQI+ Christmas
£1.00 £2.95
Sold Out
Christmas kisses from Donald Card
£2.95

Available from 25th May
Nice Card Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 (MUL 21)
A square red Christmas card with white text reading 98% cheese
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
98% Cheese Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DBX 07)
Happy Holigays Card
£2.95 (RAN 124)
Here's to another season Card
£2.95 (DMX 359)
Merry Christmas you old floozy Card
£2.95 (DMX 352)
Fuck all inside this Card
£2.95 (RAN 109)
A funny personalisable Christmas card with a smiling photo of Father Christmas holding presents underneath a fancy font that Reads Merry fucking Christmas Name
Personalise This Card

Merry Fucking Card
£3.50 (WEB 35)
A funny personalisable Christmas card with a picture of an exhuasted looking Father Christmas looking to camera. White text above him reads Santa says - Name - Go fuck yourself!
Personalise This Card

Santa says go fuck yourself Card
£3.50 (WEB 28)
Sold Out
Annoying sister Shit Card
£2.95
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
I'm dreaming of shite Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMX 295)
It's all about me Card
£2.95 (DMX 367)
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
Naughty Donald Trump Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMX 09)
Merry Christmas Wanker Rude
£2.95 (DMX 04)
Where's my Christmas present Card
£2.95 (DMX 343)
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
Fingers in ears Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMX 323)
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
Smell of reindeer poo Card
£1.00 £2.95 (RAN 85)
Sold Out

Available from 25th May
Santa Doesn't Believe In You Either Card
£1.00 £2.95
Merry Christmas from your little shit girl Card
£2.95 (DMX 341)
Cute Guys Couple Gay Card
£2.95 (RAN 82)
Merry Christmas one drunken lush Card
£2.95 (DMX 347)
Merry Christmas from your little shit boy Card
£2.95 (DMX 340)
Save 75%

Available from 25th May
Christmas Twat In A Santa Hat Card
£0.75 £2.95 (DSX 11)
A multipack for 6 Christmas cards in the shout! range.

Available from 25th May
Shout! Card Pack of 6 Multipack
£3.49 (MUL 50)
A funny personalisable Christmas card with a 1960s picture of two smiling women laughing and pointing at each other
Personalise This Card

Merry Christmas to the best bitch Card
£3.50 (WEB 22)
Merry whatever Card
£2.95 (RAN 174)
Welcome to Card
£2.95 (DMX 342)
Very Camp Card
£2.95 (RAN 81)
Up to my tits in festive gin Card
£2.95 (DMX 360)
Booked a hotel Card
£2.95 (DMX 355)
Save 83%

Available from 25th May
Boris Johnson Level Up Card
£0.50 £2.95 (DMX 14)
Jingle all the way Card
£2.95 (DMX 366)
How much to you love Card
£2.95 (RAN 150)
Christmas jumper wanker Card
£2.95 (DMX 350)
Save 83%

Available from 25th May
Merry Fucking Brexit Card
£0.50 £2.95 (DMX 235)
Christmas air fryer Card
£2.95 (DMX 364)
Beginning to cost a lot like Card
£2.95 (DMX 362)
Merry Christmas to a total legend Card
£2.95 (DMX 357)
Merry Christmas wank face Card
£2.95 (DMX 354)
Merry fuck you Card
£2.95 (DMX 353)
A funny personalisable Christmas card with a smiling photo of Father Christmas and holding his list pointing to the viewer
Personalise This Card

You're far too naughty Card
£3.50 (WEB 38)
Cute Girls Couple Gay Card
£2.95 (RAN 83)
Annoying brother shit Card
£2.95 (RAN 126)
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
Lost money on crypto Card
£1.00 £2.95 (RAN 107)
Left the gas on Card
£2.95 (DMX 346)
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
Can't Even Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DXG 22)
Santa Go's To Andy's Man Club 10 Pack
£12.50 (MUL 60)
Elves pay rise Card
£2.95 (DMX 365)
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
Miss You Like Fuck Card
£1.00 £2.95 (RAN 17)
A funny personalisable Christmas card with a retro picture of a smiling woman with a santa hat drinking a cocktail with white text above her that reads Merry Christmas - name - you big lush!
Personalise This Card

Merry Christmas you big lush Card
£3.50 (WEB 23)
Merry Christmas to my rotten ungrateful family multipack

Available from 25th May
Rotten Ungrateful Family Christmas Clearance Pack x 12 Cards
£5.99 (MUL 58)

Available from 25th May
Eat Drink and be Merry Christmas Clearance Pack x 12 Cards
£5.99 (MUL 45)
Save 83%

Available from 25th May
We Wish You a Merry Brexit Card
£0.50 £2.95 (DMX 234)
A funny personalisable Christmas card featuring two 1970s looking women a bit drunk kneeling on a carpet in a Christmas party
Personalise This Card

Christmas piss up Card
£3.50 (WEB 33)
Too much prosecco Card
£2.95 (DMX 358)
Cute Couple Card
£2.95 (RAN 84)
A funny personalisable red and green Christmas card that reads I got you a Christmas card - Name - What more do youn want?
Personalise This Card

I got you a Card
£3.50 (WEB 36)
A funny personalisable Christmas card featuring a smiling photo of Jesus overlaid with white text that reads Name All the best people have their Birthday at Christmas
Personalise This Card

All the best people Card
£3.50 (WEB 34)
A funny personalisable simple white Christmas card with black, green and red text that reads Name - This is the shittest Christmas card you'll get
Personalise This Card

Shittest Card
£3.50 (WEB 29)
A funny personalisable black Christmas card with white, green and red text that reads Merry Christmas to the biggest twat in...
Personalise This Card

Merry Christmas to the biggest twat Card
£3.50 (WEB 12)
Save 83%

Available from 25th May
Happy new normal Card
£0.50 £2.95 (DMX 303)
A funny personalisable Christmas card featuring Father Christmas pointing to the camera whilst behind him his elves do the same
Personalise This Card

Merry Christmas to the naughtiest girl Card
£3.50 (WEB 40)
A funny personalisable Christmas card featuring Father Christmas pointing to the camera whilst behind him his elves do the same
Personalise This Card

Merry Christmas to the naughtiest boy Card
£3.50 (WEB 39)
Naughty nice tired Card
£2.95 (RAN 173)

Available from 25th May
Wanking in a Winter Wonderland Clearance Pack x 12 Cards
£5.99 (MUL 42)
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
Merry Prosecco Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMX 249)
A funny personalisable Christmas card with a 1970s smiling woman in a festive jumper holding a lot of presents
Personalise This Card

Let's spend loads of money Card
£3.50 (WEB 37)

Available from 25th May
Christmas Twat in a Santa Hat Clearance Pack x 12 Cards
£5.99 (MUL 43)
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
Everything Is Shit Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMX 287)
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
Someone Gives A Toss About Your Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMX 197)
Shit under the Christmas tree Card
£2.95 (DMX 372)
Santa Goes to Andy's Man Club
£2.95 (RAN 202)
Can't even this xmas multipack

Available from 25th May
Can't Even This Xmas Christmas Clearance Pack x 12 Cards
£5.99 (MUL 49)
My favourite C-words Card
£2.95 (RAN 201)
Merry Christmas fuck face Card
£2.95 (RAN 200)
Merry Christmas to another amazing human Card
£2.95 (DMX 375)
Santa loves everyone Card
£2.95 (DMX 374)
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
Biggest sassy bitch I know Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMX 305)
Santa Says Go Fuck Yourself Card
£2.95 (DMX 252)
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
Nothing For You! I've Seen Your Snapchat Nudes Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMX 241)
Not giving a single Christmas fuck Card
£2.95 (DMX 373)
Jesus Christmas picky bits Card
£2.95 (DMX 371)
Filled with joy Card
£2.95 (DMX 370)
Save 66%

Available from 25th May
'Tis The Season To Be Naughty Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMX 251)