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Rude Christmas Cards

Well, you wanted rude cards, or you wouldn’t have clicked this page, would you? Enjoy a selection of our rudest Christmas cards for 2025!
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82 results
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82 results
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Fuck Off Santa Card
£2.95 (DMX 244)
To a Special Cunt this Card
£2.95 (DMX 01)
Season of Goodwill Card
£2.95 (DMX 22)
Difference between dogs and cats Card
£2.95 (DMX 300)
Shit Himself Again Card
£2.95 (DMX 280)
Sold Out
Merry Fucking Cunty Bollocks Card
£2.95
You're On The Cunt List Card
£2.95 (DMX 06)
Sucking Santa Card
£2.95 (DMX 20)
It's beginning to look a lot like fuck this Card
£2.95 (DMX 327)
Shit yourself Card
£2.95 (DMX 321)
I should enjoy Card
£2.95 (DMX 334)
Oh Look It's Card
£2.95 (DMX 269)
Santa take a shit Card
£2.95 (RAN 148)
Sold Out
I've Jizzed In Your Mince Pies Cards
£1.00 £2.95
Sold Out
You're a cunt list Card
£2.95
Santa Thinks You're a Cunt Card
£2.95 (DMX 03)
Too Much Wanking Card
£2.95 (DMX 137)
That look you give Card
£2.95 (DMX 311)
These are mine Card
£2.95 (DMX 302)
Magnificent bastard Card
£2.95 (DMX 325)
Santa's Coming Card
£2.95 (DMX 189)
Mostly gin Card
£2.95 (DMX 317)
Same Shit Card
£2.95 (DMX 270)
Merry Christmas dickhead Card
£2.95 (DMX 329)
Bubbles Card Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 (MUL 12)
Offensive Card Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 (MUL 19)
Fuck off Card
£2.95 (DMX 296)
See This Cat. It Doesn't Give A Fuck About Your Card
£2.95 (DMX 213)
A funny personalisable Christmas card featuring a picture of jolly Santa Claus in his workshop pointing to camera with white text above that reads Nothing for you - name - you're a cunt!
Personalise This Card

Nothing your you Card
£3.50 (WEB 18)
Sold Out
Merry Cunting Card
£2.95
Santa Christmas Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 (MUL 26)
Elf Name Card
£2.95 (RAN 45)
Sold Out
Unnecessarily offensive Santa Card
£1.00 £2.95
All About You Card
£2.95 (DMX 291)
Shove this Christmas card up your arse Card
£2.95 (RAN 151)
Even Wankers Deserve A Card
£2.95 (DMX 292)
Especially for stupid cunts Card
£2.95 (RAN 108)
You little shit Card
£2.95 (DMX 336)
Sold Out
Cheeky Cards Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50
Not you dickhead Card
£2.95 (DMX 312)
Save 75%
Wanking In A Winter Wonderland Card
£0.75 £2.95 (DSX 12)
Hope Your Xmas Isn't Shit Card
£2.95 (RAN 38)
Jolly festive fuck you Card
£2.95 (RAN 125)
Too much a Scrooge Card
£2.95 (RAN 149)
Merry whatever arsehole Card
£2.95 (DMX 339)
Jingle Bollocks Card
£2.95 (DMX 277)
Sold Out
Let's take the stable Card
£2.95
A funny personalisable Christmas card featuring a picture of a smiling Santa Claus pointing upwards to jolly white text that reads Merry Christmas to the biggest dickhead in - town name
Personalise This Card

Merry Christmas to the biggest dickhead Card
£3.50 (WEB 25)
Festive fuckwit December Card
£2.95 (RAN 66)
Sold Out
Christmas kisses from Donald Card
£2.95
Fuck all inside this Card
£2.95 (RAN 109)
Save 66%
I'm dreaming of shite Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMX 295)
A funny personalisable Christmas card with a smiling photo of Father Christmas holding presents underneath a fancy font that Reads Merry fucking Christmas Name
Personalise This Card

Merry Fucking Card
£3.50 (WEB 35)
A funny personalisable Christmas card with a picture of an exhuasted looking Father Christmas looking to camera. White text above him reads Santa says - Name - Go fuck yourself!
Personalise This Card

Santa says go fuck yourself Card
£3.50 (WEB 28)
Sold Out
Annoying sister Shit Card
£2.95
Merry Christmas Wanker Rude
£2.95 (DMX 04)
Where's my Christmas present Card
£2.95 (DMX 343)
Merry Christmas from your little shit girl Card
£2.95 (DMX 341)
Merry Christmas from your little shit boy Card
£2.95 (DMX 340)
Save 75%
Christmas Twat In A Santa Hat Card
£0.75 £2.95 (DSX 11)
A multipack for 6 Christmas cards in the shout! range.
Shout! Card Pack of 6 Multipack
£3.49 (MUL 50)
Christmas jumper wanker Card
£2.95 (DMX 350)
Save 83%
Merry Fucking Brexit Card
£0.50 £2.95 (DMX 235)
Merry Christmas to a total legend Card
£2.95 (DMX 357)
Merry Christmas wank face Card
£2.95 (DMX 354)
Save 66%
Miss You Like Fuck Card
£1.00 £2.95 (RAN 17)
Merry fuck you Card
£2.95 (DMX 353)
Annoying brother shit Card
£2.95 (RAN 126)
A funny personalisable simple white Christmas card with black, green and red text that reads Name - This is the shittest Christmas card you'll get
Personalise This Card

Shittest Card
£3.50 (WEB 29)
A funny personalisable black Christmas card with white, green and red text that reads Merry Christmas to the biggest twat in...
Personalise This Card

Merry Christmas to the biggest twat Card
£3.50 (WEB 12)
Wanking in a Winter Wonderland Clearance Pack x 12 Cards
£5.99 (MUL 42)
Santa loves everyone Card
£2.95 (DMX 374)
Save 66%
Everything Is Shit Card
£1.00 £2.95 (DMX 287)
Christmas Twat in a Santa Hat Clearance Pack x 12 Cards
£5.99 (MUL 43)
My favourite C-words Card
£2.95 (RAN 201)
Santa Says Go Fuck Yourself Card
£2.95 (DMX 252)
Shit under the Christmas tree Card
£2.95 (DMX 372)
I love a quiet Card
£2.95 (DPP 09)
Save 66%
Merry Fuckmas Card
£1.00 £2.95 (RAN 89)
Save 66%
Nosey Cunt Card
£1.00 £2.95 (RAN 79)
Merry Christmas fuck face Card
£2.95 (RAN 200)
Not giving a single Christmas fuck Card
£2.95 (DMX 373)