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Rude Christmas Cards

Well, you wanted rude cards, or you wouldn’t have clicked this page, would you? Enjoy a selection of our rudest Christmas cards for 2023!
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74 results
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74 results
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A Christmas card with a vintage illustration of Father Christmas being surrounded by dancing young children
Sold Out
Fuck Off Santa Card
£2.75 GBP
A Christmas card with a 1970s festive scene of a decorated lounge
Sold Out
To a Special Cunt this Card
£2.75 GBP
A Christmas Card with a picture of a smiling dog and miserable cat
Difference between dogs and cats Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 300)
A Christmas card with a staged photo of Joseph and Mary cradling baby Jesus in a stable
Shit Himself Again Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 280)
A Christmas card with a retro photo of Father Christmas holding a big sack of toys
Sucking Santa Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 20)
A Christmas card with a jolly red Santa Claus against a blue background with snowflakes.
Season of Goodwill Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 22)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a female elf with a long list looking to camera
You're On The Cunt List Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 06)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling couple holding christmas presents
It's beginning to look a lot like fuck this Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 327)
A Christmas card with a picture of Santa Claus sitting down holding a smiling baby in a mini father Christmas outfit
Shit yourself Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 321)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of Father Christmas partially obscured by the text Merry fucking cunty bollocks
Sold Out
Merry Fucking Cunty Bollocks Card
£2.75 GBP
A Christmas card featuring a retro picture of a smiling man holding a sing that reads When people say i should enjoy Christmas i simply tell the cunts to go fuck themselves
I should enjoy Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 334)
A Christmas card with a picture of a smiling Santa Claus pointing to camera
Magnificent bastard Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 325)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of four young carol singers. They are collectively saying Merry Christmas dickhead
Merry Christmas dickhead Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 329)
A red Christmas card with white text reading Merry Christmas you total legend! I mean bellend
Save 64%
Total Legend Card
£1.00 GBP £2.75 GBP (DBX 03)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of Father Christmas superimposed onto a festive bauble
Santa Thinks You're a Cunt Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 03)
A bold black Christmas card featuring simple white, red and green text in the middle that reads I never knew they made Christmas cards especially for stupid cunts
Especially for stupid cunts Card
£2.75 GBP (RAN 108)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a glamourous woman in a fur coat against a red background holding a cocktail glass
Mostly gin Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 317)
A Christmas card with a picture of a smiling chef wearing a big white chefs hat
I've Jizzed In Your Mince Pies Cards
£2.75 GBP (DMX 253)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of Father Christmas sitting at his desk
Too Much Wanking Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 137)
A plain white birthday card with bold black text that reads This is the shittest card you'll get
Shittest card you'll get Card
£2.75 GBP (RAN 118)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a smiling woman looking into the distance dressed as a festive elf
That look you give Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 311)
A Christmas Card with a 1960s picture of a small girl holding presents
These are mine Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 302)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of Santa Claus sitting down with his arms behind his head
Sold Out
Santa's Coming Card
£2.75 GBP
A rude Christmas Card with a miserable looking man
Oh Look It's Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 269)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a sad looking puppy in front of a 1960s Christmas tree
Same Shit Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 270)
A Christmas card featuring a retro picture of a smiling precocious ginger haired child holding a large Christmas present
You little shit Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 336)
A rude Christmas Card with a kitsch piture of a miserable looking cat
It's that Christmas again Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 294)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a precocious young girl holding a doll
All About You Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 291)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of Father Christmas sitting down in his chair looking to camera
Santa Says Go Fuck Yourself Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 252)
A Christmas card with a picture of a miserable looking cat dressed in a santa outfit
See This Cat. It Doesn't Give A Fuck About Your Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 213)
Bubbles Christmas Card Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 GBP (MUL 12)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a miserable looking cat with a big green bow
Sold Out
Merry Fucking Card
£2.75 GBP
A Christmas card asking what your elf name is
Elf Name Card
£2.75 GBP (RAN 45)
Save 60%
Shout! Card Pack of 9 Multipack
£4.99 GBP £12.50 GBP (MUL 05)
A Christmas card with a picture of a teenager dressed in a white 1970s prom tuxedo
Even Wankers Deserve A Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 292)
A Christmas card with a picture of a miserable looking white cat against a red background
Christmas Cat Says Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 267)
Cheeky Christmas Multipack
£12.50 GBP (MUL 02)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of Father Christmas sitting down writing with a quill pen
Merry Cunting Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 07)
Offensive Card Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 GBP (MUL 19)
A Christmas card featuring a 1960s picture of Santa Claus looking exasperated against a blue background. Bold white text above reads Merry whatever arsehole
Merry whatever arsehole Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 339)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of smiling Santa Claus holding a scroll that reads Not you dickhead. Above him white text reads Merry Christmas everyone!
Not you dickhead Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 312)
Santa Christmas Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 GBP (MUL 26)
A Christmas card with a cute picture of a model elf sitting on a sleigh within a snowy scene
Save 64%
Another Fucking Offensive Card
£1.00 GBP £2.75 GBP (DMX 255)
A light pink Christmas card with random red, pink, white and green spots surrounding red and green text that reads Have a nice jolly festive fuck you
Jolly festive fuck you Card
£2.75 GBP (RAN 125)
Festive fuckwit December Card
£2.75 GBP (RAN 66)
A rude Christmas Card featuring the words fuck off displayed over a wreath
Fuck off Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 296)
A Christmas card featuring a retro picture of a man and woman adorned with lots of Christmas presents
Everything Is Shit Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 287)
A Christmas card with a 1950s picture of three smiling women building a snowman
You Vile Old Bitch Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 278)
A dark red Christmas card with just the words Merry Christmas you Nosey Cunt written in very small white capital letters in the middle
Nosey Cunt Card
£2.75 GBP (RAN 79)
A simple white Christmas card featuring bold black, red and green text in the middle that reads Fuck all inside this Christmas card
Fuck all inside this Card
£2.75 GBP (RAN 109)
A Christmas Card with a picture of Father Christmas pointing to camera
Unnecessarily offensive Santa Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 298)
A Christmas card with a vintage illustration of Father Christmas against a white background
Christmas Can Fuck Right Off Card
£2.75 GBP (DXX 02)
A Christmas card with a red background. White text reads I'll be walking in a winter wankerland
Save 64%
Wanking In A Winter Wonderland Card
£1.00 GBP £2.75 GBP (DSX 12)
A white text based Christmas card with black, green and red text
Hope Your Xmas Isn't Shit Card
£2.75 GBP (RAN 38)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of two small girls looking into a toy shop window
Save 64%
Merry Christmas to the Bestest Bestie Ever Card
£1.00 GBP £2.75 GBP (DMX 239)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling family looking at camera through a festive wreath
Merry Christmas Wanker Rude
£2.75 GBP (DMX 04)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a couple holding lots of presents
Save 64%
Merry Shitmas Card
£1.00 GBP £2.75 GBP (DMX 238)
A red text based Christmas card with a red candy cane border
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year To Get Shitfaced Card
£2.75 GBP (DXG 12)
A text based Christmas card with a red background and snow
Save 64%
Christmas Twat In A Santa Hat Card
£1.00 GBP £2.75 GBP (DSX 11)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling man holding a mini Christmas tree and presents
Jingle Bollocks Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 277)
A Christmas card with a vintage picture of two model snowmen and candy canes
Save 82%
Merry Fucking Brexit Card
£0.50 GBP £2.75 GBP (DMX 235)
A multipack for 6 Christmas cards in the shout! range.
Shout! Card Pack of 6 Multipack
£3.49 GBP (MUL 50)
Save 82%
Fuck Off Covid Card
£0.50 GBP £2.75 GBP (RAN 41)
A plain white Christmas card with bold black, red and green text that reads Shit Christmas card perfect for an annoying sister
Annoying sister Shit Card
£2.75 GBP (RAN 127)
Sold Out
Wanking in a Winter Wonderland Clearance Pack x 12 Cards
£5.99 GBP
A Christmas card with a vintage illustration of a jolly looking Santa
Santa Loves Everyone, Even Wankers Card
£2.75 GBP (DXX 24)
A rude Christmas Card with a picture of a jolly Father Christmas
Another shitty year Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 306)
A funny Christmas Card with a 1960s picture of a woman dressed as an elf
I'm dreaming of shite Card
£2.75 GBP (DMX 295)
A black Christmas card with alternating red, white and green rounded text reading We wish you a merry fuckmas
Merry Fuckmas Card
£2.75 GBP (RAN 89)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of Father Christmas looking shocked direct to camera
Sold Out
Merry Christmas You Big Cunt Card
£2.75 GBP
A plain white Christmas card with bold black, red and green text that reads Shit Christmas card perfect for an annoying brother
Annoying brother shit Card
£2.75 GBP (RAN 126)
Christmas Twat in a Santa Hat Clearance Pack x 12 Cards
£5.99 GBP (MUL 43)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a smiling man against a green background
Sold Out
Fuck You Arsehole Card
£2.75 GBP
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a woman holding a cocktail glass
Sold Out
I'm Dreaming of a White Card
£1.00 GBP £2.75 GBP