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Rude Christmas Cards

Well, you wanted rude cards, or you wouldn’t have clicked this page, would you? Enjoy a selection of our rudest Christmas cards for 2024!
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A Christmas card with a vintage illustration of Father Christmas being surrounded by dancing young children
Fuck Off Santa Card
£2.75 (DMX 244)
A Christmas card with a 1970s festive scene of a decorated lounge
To a Special Cunt this Card
£2.75 (DMX 01)
A Christmas Card with a picture of a smiling dog and miserable cat
Difference between dogs and cats Card
£2.75 (DMX 300)
A Christmas card with a staged photo of Joseph and Mary cradling baby Jesus in a stable
Shit Himself Again Card
£2.75 (DMX 280)
A Christmas card with a jolly red Santa Claus against a blue background with snowflakes.
Season of Goodwill Card
£2.75 (DMX 22)
A Christmas card with a retro photo of Father Christmas holding a big sack of toys
Sucking Santa Card
£2.75 (DMX 20)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of Father Christmas partially obscured by the text Merry fucking cunty bollocks
Merry Fucking Cunty Bollocks Card
£2.75 (DMX 12)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a female elf with a long list looking to camera
You're On The Cunt List Card
£2.75 (DMX 06)
A Christmas card with a picture of Santa Claus sitting down holding a smiling baby in a mini father Christmas outfit
Shit yourself Card
£2.75 (DMX 321)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling couple holding christmas presents
It's beginning to look a lot like fuck this Card
£2.75 (DMX 327)
A Christmas card featuring a retro picture of a smiling man holding a sing that reads When people say i should enjoy Christmas i simply tell the cunts to go fuck themselves
I should enjoy Card
£2.75 (DMX 334)
A rude Christmas Card with a kitsch piture of a miserable looking cat
Save 64%
It's that Christmas again Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DMX 294)
A rude Christmas Card with a miserable looking man
Oh Look It's Card
£2.75 (DMX 269)
A Christmas card with a picture of a smiling chef wearing a big white chefs hat
I've Jizzed In Your Mince Pies Cards
£2.75 (DMX 253)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of Santa Claus sitting down with his arms behind his head
Santa's Coming Card
£2.75 (DMX 189)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a smiling woman looking into the distance dressed as a festive elf
That look you give Card
£2.75 (DMX 311)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of Father Christmas sitting at his desk
Too Much Wanking Card
£2.75 (DMX 137)
A Christmas card with a picture of a smiling Santa Claus pointing to camera
Magnificent bastard Card
£2.75 (DMX 325)
A Christmas card designed to look like a vintage paperback featuring an illustration of Father Christmas sitting atop a chimney
Santa take a shit Card
£2.75 (RAN 148)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of Father Christmas superimposed onto a festive bauble
Santa Thinks You're a Cunt Card
£2.75 (DMX 03)
A Christmas Card with a 1960s picture of a small girl holding presents
These are mine Card
£2.75 (DMX 302)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a sad looking puppy in front of a 1960s Christmas tree
Same Shit Card
£2.75 (DMX 270)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of four young carol singers. They are collectively saying Merry Christmas dickhead
Merry Christmas dickhead Card
£2.75 (DMX 329)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a glamourous woman in a fur coat against a red background holding a cocktail glass
Mostly gin Card
£2.75 (DMX 317)
Bubbles Card Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 (MUL 12)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of Father Christmas sitting down in his chair looking to camera
Santa Says Go Fuck Yourself Card
£2.75 (DMX 252)
A Christmas card with a picture of a miserable looking cat dressed in a santa outfit
See This Cat. It Doesn't Give A Fuck About Your Card
£2.75 (DMX 213)
Santa Christmas Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 (MUL 26)
A bold black Christmas card featuring simple white, red and green text in the middle that reads I never knew they made Christmas cards especially for stupid cunts
Sold Out
Especially for stupid cunts Card
£2.75
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a precocious young girl holding a doll
All About You Card
£2.75 (DMX 291)
A rude Christmas Card featuring the words fuck off displayed over a wreath
Fuck off Card
£2.75 (DMX 296)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of Father Christmas sitting down writing with a quill pen
Merry Cunting Card
£2.75 (DMX 07)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of Father Christmas reading his list against a red background. He repeatedly says You're a cunt
You're a cunt list Card
£2.75 (DMX 345)
A Christmas card featuring a retro picture of a smiling precocious ginger haired child holding a large Christmas present
You little shit Card
£2.75 (DMX 336)
A Christmas card featuring a retro picture of a man and woman adorned with lots of Christmas presents
Save 64%
Everything Is Shit Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DMX 287)
A Christmas card asking what your elf name is
Elf Name Card
£2.75 (RAN 45)
Offensive Card Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 (MUL 19)
Cheeky Christmas Multipack
£12.50 (MUL 02)
A Christmas card with a picture of a miserable looking white cat against a red background
Save 64%
Christmas Cat Says Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DMX 267)
A Christmas Card with a picture of Father Christmas pointing to camera
Unnecessarily offensive Santa Card
£2.75 (DMX 298)
A dark red Christmas card with just the words Merry Christmas you Nosey Cunt written in very small white capital letters in the middle
Nosey Cunt Card
£2.75 (RAN 79)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of smiling Santa Claus holding a scroll that reads Not you dickhead. Above him white text reads Merry Christmas everyone!
Not you dickhead Card
£2.75 (DMX 312)
A Christmas card with a picture of a teenager dressed in a white 1970s prom tuxedo
Even Wankers Deserve A Card
£2.75 (DMX 292)
A Christmas card with a red background. White text reads I'll be walking in a winter wankerland
Save 64%
Wanking In A Winter Wonderland Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DSX 12)
A light pink Christmas card with random red, pink, white and green spots surrounding red and green text that reads Have a nice jolly festive fuck you
Jolly festive fuck you Card
£2.75 (RAN 125)
A black Christmas card with bold slanted white text that reads Show this Christmas card up your arse surrounded by white, red and green dots
Shove this Christmas card up your arse Card
£2.75 (RAN 151)
A Christmas card featuring a 1960s picture of Santa Claus looking exasperated against a blue background. Bold white text above reads Merry whatever arsehole
Merry whatever arsehole Card
£2.75 (DMX 339)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling man holding a mini Christmas tree and presents
Jingle Bollocks Card
£2.75 (DMX 277)
A white text based Christmas card with black, green and red text
Hope Your Xmas Isn't Shit Card
£2.75 (RAN 38)
Festive fuckwit December Card
£2.75 (RAN 66)
Save 64%
Miss You Like Fuck Card
£1.00 £2.75 (RAN 17)
A white greeting card with rounded green and red text wishing Merry Christmas to you and your
Save 64%
Merry Christmas to you and your Card
£1.00 £2.75 (RAN 77)
A rude Christmas Card with a picture of a jolly Father Christmas
Save 64%
Another shitty year Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DMX 306)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling family looking at camera through a festive wreath
Merry Christmas Wanker Rude
£2.75 (DMX 04)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a miserable baby sat amongst presents in a little Santa outfit. He says Merry Christmas! Now where's my fucking present?
Where's my Christmas present Card
£2.75 (DMX 343)
A multipack for 6 Christmas cards in the shout! range.
Shout! Card Pack of 6 Multipack
£3.49 (MUL 50)
A plain white Christmas card with bold black, red and green text that reads Shit Christmas card perfect for an annoying sister
Annoying sister Shit Card
£2.75 (RAN 127)
A simple white Christmas card featuring bold black, red and green text in the middle that reads Fuck all inside this Christmas card
Fuck all inside this Card
£2.75 (RAN 109)
A red text based Christmas card with a red candy cane border
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year To Get Shitfaced Card
£2.75 (DXG 12)
A text based Christmas card with a red background and snow
Save 64%
Christmas Twat In A Santa Hat Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DSX 11)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a smiling young boy in a winter coat with a warm hat holding presents in front of a snowy background
Merry Christmas from your little shit boy Card
£2.75 (DMX 340)
A Plain red Christmas card with a black, green and red text in a white box that reads Sorry I'm far too much of a Scrooge to give a fuck about Christmas but social etiquette requires me to give you a card
Too much a Scrooge Card
£2.75 (RAN 149)
A Christmas card with a vintage picture of two model snowmen and candy canes
Save 82%
Merry Fucking Brexit Card
£0.50 £2.75 (DMX 235)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a smiling young girl in a winter coat with a short blonde hair holding presents in front of a blue background
Merry Christmas from your little shit girl Card
£2.75 (DMX 341)
A plain white Christmas card with bold black, red and green text that reads Shit Christmas card perfect for an annoying brother
Annoying brother shit Card
£2.75 (RAN 126)
A Christmas card with a photograph of a smiling young man with glasses wearing a snowman themed Christmas jumper. White text above him that he's pointing to reads Christmas jumper wanker
Christmas jumper wanker Card
£2.75 (DMX 350)
A funny Christmas Card with a 1960s picture of a woman dressed as an elf
I'm dreaming of shite Card
£2.75 (DMX 295)
Wanking in a Winter Wonderland Clearance Pack x 12 Cards
£5.99 (MUL 42)
A black Christmas card with alternating red, white and green rounded text reading We wish you a merry fuckmas
Merry Fuckmas Card
£2.75 (RAN 89)
Christmas Twat in a Santa Hat Clearance Pack x 12 Cards
£5.99 (MUL 43)