Funny & Rude Christmas Cards, Xmas Cards & UK Sale

Welcome to our funny Xmas card ranges available, including new cards, fresh for Christmas 2024! We’ve great selections of rude cards and funny Christmas card packs for friends and family. Choose from the pictures to view the full selection of Christmas cards available including discounted sale items.

A Christmas card with an illustration of the three kings visiting Jesus in his stable. One of them says Now remember, these are for your birthday and Christmas

Jesus presents Card

£2.75 (DMX 328)

A Christmas card with a vintage illustration of Father Christmas being surrounded by dancing young children

Fuck Off Santa Card

£2.75 (DMX 244)

Jesus Out Of My Way Bitches Card

£2.75 (DMU 101)

A Christmas card with a 1970s festive scene of a decorated lounge

To a Special Cunt this Card

A Christmas card with a staged photo of Jesus and Mary cradling baby Jesus in the stable

Let's Call Him Wayne Card

£2.75 (DMX 194)

A Christmas Card with a picture of a smiling dog and miserable cat

Difference between dogs and cats Card

£2.75 (DMX 300)

A Christmas card with a staged photo of Joseph and Mary cradling baby Jesus in a stable

Shit Himself Again Card

£2.75 (DMX 280)

A Christmas card with a vintage illustration of two men drinking alcohol

It's Christmas. Time To Get Wasted On Jagerbombs Card

£1.00 £2.75 (DXX 09)

A Christmas card with a jolly red Santa Claus against a blue background with snowflakes.

Season of Goodwill Card

£2.75 (DMX 22)

A Christmas card with a retro photo of Father Christmas holding a big sack of toys

Sucking Santa Card

£2.75 (DMX 20)

A Christmas card with a retro picture of Father Christmas partially obscured by the text Merry fucking cunty bollocks

Merry Fucking Cunty Bollocks Card

£2.75 (DMX 12)

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of Father Christmas waving from his sleigh

Just Off Down The Pub Cards

£1.00 £2.75 (DMX 272)

A Christmas card with a retro picture of a female elf with a long list looking to camera

You're On The Cunt List Card

£2.75 (DMX 06)

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling couple holding christmas presents

It's beginning to look a lot like fuck this Card

£2.75 (DMX 327)

A Christmas card with a picture of Santa Claus sitting down holding a smiling baby in a mini father Christmas outfit

Shit yourself Card

£2.75 (DMX 321)

A Christmas card featuring a retro picture of a smiling man holding a sing that reads When people say i should enjoy Christmas i simply tell the cunts to go fuck themselves

I should enjoy Card

£2.75 (DMX 334)

A Christmas card with a close up picture of robin on a bough of holly. Red and green curved text above reads Here's a festive robin in the snow. What more do you want?

Robin in the snow Card

£2.75 (DMX 332)

A rude Christmas Card with a miserable looking man

Oh Look It's Card

£2.75 (DMX 269)

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a young girl standing a t a small blackboard on an easel

Merry Christmas Bum Face Card

A Christmas card with a picture of a smiling chef wearing a big white chefs hat

I've Jizzed In Your Mince Pies Cards

A Christmas card with a picture of two kittens by a christmas stocking. Rounded white text above and beside reads Merry Christmas We've done a poo in your shoe

Poo in your shoe Card

A Christmas card with a retro picture of a smiling woman carrying lots of presents. Green, red and white rounded text beside her reads Merry Christmas from probably the most amazing person you'll ever know

Most amazing person Card

£2.75 (DMX 330)

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of Father Christmas sitting at his desk

Too Much Wanking Card

£2.75 (DMX 137)

A Christmas card with a retro picture of Santa Claus sitting down with his arms behind his head

Santa's Coming Card

£2.75 (DMX 189)

A Christmas card with a picture of a smiling Santa Claus pointing to camera

Magnificent bastard Card

£2.75 (DMX 325)

A Christmas card with a painting of Jesus holding his hands up and surrounded by loving disciples

It's My Birthday And I Want A Pony! Card

£2.75 (DMX 179)

A Christmas card with a retro picture of a smiling woman looking into the distance dressed as a festive elf

That look you give Card

£2.75 (DMX 311)

A Christmas card designed to look like a vintage paperback featuring an illustration of Father Christmas sitting atop a chimney

Santa take a shit Card

£2.75 (RAN 148)

A Christmas card with a festive picture of a miserable looking cat wearing a santa hat and red booties

Festive AF Card

£2.75 (DMX 263)

A Christmas card with a painting of Jesus, Mary and Joseph riding into Bethlehem of a donkey

Jesus, Mary and Joseph Card

£2.75 (DMX 307)

A Christmas Card with a 1960s picture of a small girl holding presents

These are mine Card

£2.75 (DMX 302)

A Christmas card with a retro picture of a sad looking puppy in front of a 1960s Christmas tree

£2.75 (DMX 270)

A Christmas card with a retro picture of Father Christmas superimposed onto a festive bauble

Santa Thinks You're a Cunt Card

£2.75 (DMX 03)

A Christmas card featuring a retro picture of two women laughing at each other under commercial hair dryers

As far from my family as possible Card

£2.75 (DMX 337)

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture a young woman wearing a red nightie lying on a chaise lounge

Wake Up Alcohol Turkey Repeat Card

£1.00 £2.75 (DMX 265)

A Christmas card with a retro picture of four young carol singers. They are collectively saying Merry Christmas dickhead

Merry Christmas dickhead Card

£2.75 (DMX 329)

A Christmas card featuring a 1960s picture of an excited woman bursting through a ripped wall of red paper. White text above and below her reads Did someone say pigs in blankets?&amp;lt;/

Pigs in blankets Card

£2.75 (DMX 338)

Bubbles Card Pack of 10 Multipack

£12.50 (MUL 12)

A Christmas Card featuring a picture of Jesus wishing himself happy birthday

Jesus happy birthday Card

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a glamorous woman in front of a green background with snowflakes

Merry Christmas To One Fantastic Bitch Card

£2.75 (DMX 250)

Random Christmas Card Pack of 10 Multipack

£5.99 (MUL 03)

A Christmas card with a retro picture of Father Christmas reading his list against a red background. He repeatedly says You're a cunt

You're a cunt list Card

£2.75 (DMX 345)

A text based Christmas card with a red background and white snow

Eat Drink And Be Merry Card

£1.00 £2.75 (DSX 01)

A Christmas card with a 1970s picture of a smiling young woman holding Christmas presents

Someone Gives A Toss About Your Card

£1.00 £2.75 (DMX 197)

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a glamourous woman in a fur coat against a red background holding a cocktail glass

Mostly gin Card

£2.75 (DMX 317)

A rude Christmas Card featuring the words fuck off displayed over a wreath

£2.75 (DMX 296)

A Christmas card with an 80s picture of an old couple smiling as they open a Christmas card

Give an old person something to live for Card

£2.75 (DMX 310)

A Christmas card with a picture of a miserable looking cat dressed in a santa outfit

See This Cat. It Doesn't Give A Fuck About Your Card

£2.75 (DMX 213)

A Christmas card featuring a historical painting of Jesus and his disciples at the last supper

Water into mulled wine Card

£2.75 (DMX 313)

A Christmas card with a retro picture of festive cats surrounded by lots of Christmas paraphernalia

All I Want For Christmas Is Cats Card

£2.75 (DMX 237)

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a precocious young girl holding a doll

All About You Card

£2.75 (DMX 291)

A Christmas card featuring a retro picture of a man and woman adorned with lots of Christmas presents

Everything Is Shit Card

A Christmas card asking what your elf name is

£2.75 (RAN 45)

A Christmas card with a retro picture of Father Christmas sitting down writing with a quill pen

Merry Cunting Card

£2.75 (DMX 07)

Santa Christmas Pack of 10 Multipack

A Christmas card colourful picture of a brown dog in a green Christmas jumper wearing christmas tree festive glasses against a red backdrop

Merry Christmas from the dog Card

£2.75 (DMX 308)

A bold black Christmas card featuring simple white, red and green text in the middle that reads I never knew they made Christmas cards especially for stupid cunts

Especially for stupid cunts Card

£2.75 (RAN 108)

A Christmas card with a 1950s picture of a young woman dressed up with a beard as Santa Claus

'Tis The Season To Be Naughty Card

£1.00 £2.75 (DMX 251)

A Christmas card featuring a retro picture of a smiling precocious ginger haired child holding a large Christmas present

You little shit Card

£2.75 (DMX 336)

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a mother and her young son sitting by a christmas tree

What Are You Getting This Christmas Mummy Card

£2.75 (DMX 193)

A Christmas Card with a picture of a couple opening presents

Thanks I hate it Card

£2.75 (DMX 304)

A Christmas card colourful picture of a frowning cat in a red Christmas jumper wearing christmas tree festive glasses against a green backdrop

Merry Christmas from the cat Card

£2.75 (DMX 309)

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a family in front of a Christmas tree

Selfish, Ungrateful Family Cards

£1.00 £2.75 (DMX 276)

Offensive Card Pack of 10 Multipack

£12.50 (MUL 19)

A Christmas card featuring a retro picture of a smiling young woman in a green top looking to camera. White text above her reads I bought you wine for Christmas but I drank it

I bought you wine Card

£2.75 (DMX 335)

A Christmas card with a picture of Santa Claus pointing directly to camera

Santa Knows You've Been a Knob Card

£2.75 (DMX 232)

A Christmas card with a retro picture of a confused looking Father Christmas holding a list

Pulsating Orgasmatron Card

£2.75 (DMX 331)

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling woman in a pink blouse holding up both hands

Hands up who fancies wine Card

£2.75 (DMX 318)

A Christmas card with a photo of Boris Johnson surrounded by snowflakes

Clueless Boris Card

£0.50 £2.75 (DMX 11)

A dark red Christmas card with just the words Merry Christmas you Nosey Cunt written in very small white capital letters in the middle

Nosey Cunt Card

£2.75 (RAN 79)

Cheeky Christmas Multipack

A Christmas Card with a picture of a big truck driving up a frosty road

Gin Delivery Card

£2.75 (DMX 284)

A Christmas Card with a picture of Father Christmas pointing to camera

Unnecessarily offensive Santa Card

£2.75 (DMX 298)

A Christmas card with a retro picture of smiling Santa Claus holding a scroll that reads Not you dickhead. Above him white text reads Merry Christmas everyone!

Not you dickhead Card

£2.75 (DMX 312)

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a woman with a telephone headset surrounded by snowflakes

Your Christmas is important Card

£2.75 (DMX 326)

A Christmas Card with a retro picture of a sultry woman

Biggest sassy bitch I know Card

A Christmas card with a picture of a teenager dressed in a white 1970s prom tuxedo

Even Wankers Deserve A Card

£2.75 (DMX 292)

A black Christmas card with bold slanted white text that reads Show this Christmas card up your arse surrounded by white, red and green dots

Shove this Christmas card up your arse Card

£2.75 (RAN 151)

A jet black card with the words ‘You’re gayer than Kylie riding a pink unicorn through Disneyland at Christmas’ written in capitalised, bubble font in an assortment of white and all the colours of the rainbow.

You're Gayer Than Kylie Riding A Pink Unicorn Card

£2.75 (DMR 51)

A Christmas card with a red background. White text reads I'll be walking in a winter wankerland

Wanking In A Winter Wonderland Card

£1.00 £2.75 (DSX 12)

A text based Christmas card with a red background and white snow

Have A Totes Amazeballs Card

£1.00 £2.75 (DSX 04)

A Christmas card with a retro picture of a smiling woman in a red dress holding a huge festive turkey

Screw the diet Card

£2.75 (DMX 333)

A rude Christmas Card with a picture of a jolly Father Christmas

Another shitty year Card

£1.00 £2.75 (DMX 306)

A black Christmas with bold rounded white, red and green text that reads Enjoy your big Christmas poo

Enjoy your big Christmas poo Card

£2.75 (RAN 152)

A Christmas card with a photograph of two cute white kittens surround by various Christmas decorations. Bold white capitalised text above them reads Merry Christmas human from your feline overlords

Merry Christmas Human Card

£2.75 (DMX 349)

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling young girl and Father Christmas looking into the middle distance

Hunt you down Card

£2.75 (DMX 344)

A light pink Christmas card with random red, pink, white and green spots surrounding red and green text that reads Have a nice jolly festive fuck you

Jolly festive fuck you Card

£2.75 (RAN 125)

A blue Christmas card with a picture of a smiling Father Christmas looking at the camera and holding a big read sack

Huge package Card

Festive AF Card

A Christmas card with a vintage illustration of sacred heart Jesus

Totally Rock The Beard Card

£2.75 (DMX 271)

A Christmas card with a staged photo of Jesus looking intense with his hands clasped

Jesus Christ, It's Christmas Again! Card

£2.75 (DMX 257)

A white text based Christmas card with black, green and red text

Hope Your Xmas Isn't Shit Card

£2.75 (RAN 38)

A Christmas card with a retro picture of two snowmen models walking against a backdrop of snow and candy canes

Insufferable festive excitement Card

£2.75 (DMX 316)

A text based Christmas card with a green background and snow

Wishing You The Merriest Christmas Ever Card

£1.00 £2.75 (DSX 05)

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling man holding a mini Christmas tree and presents

Jingle Bollocks Card

£2.75 (DMX 277)

A Christmas card featuring a 1960s picture of Santa Claus looking exasperated against a blue background. Bold white text above reads Merry whatever arsehole

Merry whatever arsehole Card

£2.75 (DMX 339)

A black Christmas card with white and rainbow slanted capital letters reading Have a merry LGBTQIABCOHMYGODYASSBITCHYASSXYZ+ Christmas

Merry LGBTQI+ Christmas

£2.75 (RAN 80)

A Christmas card with a bright rainbow pattern. In the middle is bold white rounded text with a black outline that reads Happy Holigays

Happy Holigays Card

£2.75 (RAN 124)

A Christmas card with a vintage photo of two young women both sitting looking forward with their hair in commercial hair dryers. White rounded text above reads Merry Christmas Bestie

Merry Christmas Bestie Card

£2.75 (DMX 351)

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling woman in a red blouse against a green background

Alexa, Cancel Card

£2.75 (DMX 279)

A square red Christmas card with white text reading 98% cheese

98% Cheese Card

£1.00 £2.75 (DBX 07)

A text based Christmas card with a red background and white snow

I Bought This Card In The January Sales Card

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling family looking at camera through a festive wreath

Merry Christmas Wanker Rude

£2.75 (DMX 04)

A Plain red Christmas card with a black, green and red text in a white box that reads Sorry I'm far too much of a Scrooge to give a fuck about Christmas but social etiquette requires me to give you a card

Too much a Scrooge Card

£2.75 (RAN 149)

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture a young woman smiling wearing a winter hat and mittens

Blah Blah Wine Gin Blah Card

£2.75 (DMX 264)

A plain white Christmas card with bold black, red and green text that reads Shit Christmas card perfect for an annoying sister

Annoying sister Shit Card

£2.75 (RAN 127)

A Christmas card with a photo of Boris Johnson looking confused against a blue background

Boris Johnson Level Up Card

£0.50 £2.75 (DMX 14)

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a miserable baby sat amongst presents in a little Santa outfit. He says Merry Christmas! Now where's my fucking present?

Where's my Christmas present Card

£2.75 (DMX 343)

A simple white Christmas card featuring bold black, red and green text in the middle that reads Fuck all inside this Christmas card

Fuck all inside this Card

£2.75 (RAN 109)

A Christmas card with a retro photograph of a smiling man holding a frothy beer glass. Red, green and white text above reads Merry Christmas is beer involved?

Merry Christmas is beer involved Card

£2.75 (DMX 348)

A Christmas card with a retro picture of a smiling young boy in a winter coat with a warm hat holding presents in front of a snowy background

Merry Christmas from your little shit boy Card

£2.75 (DMX 340)

A rainbow explosion Christmas card with curvy white text with a black outline

£2.75 (RAN 81)

A red text based Christmas card with a red candy cane border

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year To Get Shitfaced Card

£2.75 (DXG 12)

A text based Christmas card with a red background and snow

Christmas Twat In A Santa Hat Card

£1.00 £2.75 (DSX 11)

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of five children carol singing

Carol singers Card

£2.75 (DMX 314)

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of Santa looking shocked reading a christmas list

Naughty Donald Trump Card

£1.00 £2.75 (DMX 09)

A Christmas card with a vintage picture of a smiling middle aged woman against a red background surrounded by snowflakes

Welcome to Card

£2.75 (DMX 342)

A Christmas card with a retro picture of a smiling young girl in a winter coat with a short blonde hair holding presents in front of a blue background

Merry Christmas from your little shit girl Card

£2.75 (DMX 341)

Nice Card Pack of 10 Multipack

A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of smiling Santa Claus holding a big sack of toys

You're A Massive Festive Bellend Card

£2.75 (DMX 247)

A Christmas card with a vintage picture of two model snowmen and candy canes

Merry Fucking Brexit Card

£0.50 £2.75 (DMX 235)

A Christmas card with a retro photograph of a smiling woman holding a glass of larger surrounded by snowflakes. White rounded text above and beside her reads Merry Christmas from one drunken lush to another

Merry Christmas one drunken lush Card

£2.75 (DMX 347)

A plain white Christmas card with bold black, red and green text that reads Shit Christmas card perfect for an annoying brother

Annoying brother shit Card

£2.75 (RAN 126)

A Christmas card titled How much do you love Christmas? with the answers next to tick boxes below

How much to you love Card

£2.75 (RAN 150)

A Christmas card with a photograph of a smiling young man with glasses wearing a snowman themed Christmas jumper. White text above him that he's pointing to reads Christmas jumper wanker

Christmas jumper wanker Card

£2.75 (DMX 350)

A Christmas card with a photograph of Mary and Joseph cradling baby Jesus in the stable. Joseph says You know, I'm sure I left the gas on...

Left the gas on Card

£2.75 (DMX 346)

A simple red Christmas card with lower case white text aligned to one side

Smell of reindeer poo Card

£2.75 (RAN 85)

A Christmas card with a cute cartoon of two ladies in festive knitted jumpers

Cute Girls Couple Gay Card

£2.75 (RAN 83)

A Christmas card with a cute cartoon of two guys in festive knitted jumpers

Cute Guys Couple Gay Card

£2.75 (RAN 82)

A dark blue Christmas card featuring rounded white, red and green text that reads I've lost loads on crypto so be grateful you've still got a Christmas card

Lost money on crypto Card

£1.00 £2.75 (RAN 107)

A Christmas card with a retro picture of a group of young carol singers

We Wish You a Merry Brexit Card

£0.50 £2.75 (DMX 234)

A Christmas card with a cute cartoon of a guy and a girl in festive knitted jumpers

Cute Couple Card

£2.75 (RAN 84)

A text based Christmas card with a red and green candy cane border

Can't Even Card

£1.00 £2.75 (DXG 22)

A Christmas card with a retro picture of a woman with her fingers in her ears. She is surrounded by rounded pastel coloured text that reads Christmas, Shopping, Parties, Snow, Family, Decs etc

Fingers in ears Card

£2.75 (DMX 323)

A Christmas Card with a picture of Santa Claus at his desk

Happy new normal Card

£0.50 £2.75 (DMX 303)

A funny Christmas Card with a 1960s picture of a woman dressed as an elf

I'm dreaming of shite Card

£2.75 (DMX 295)

Eat Drink and be Merry Christmas Clearance Pack x 12 Cards

£5.99 (MUL 45)

A black Christmas card with alternating red, white and green rounded text reading We wish you a merry fuckmas

Merry Fuckmas Card

£2.75 (RAN 89)

Wanking in a Winter Wonderland Clearance Pack x 12 Cards

£5.99 (MUL 42)

Christmas Twat in a Santa Hat Clearance Pack x 12 Cards

£5.99 (MUL 43)

Can't even this xmas multipack

Can't Even This Xmas Christmas Clearance Pack x 12 Cards

£5.99 (MUL 49)

A Christmas card with a 1950s picture of three smiling women building a snowman

You Vile Old Bitch Card

£2.75 (DMX 278)

A text based Christmas card with a red candy cane border

Merry Christmas Turkey Tits Card

£1.00 £2.75 (DXG 01)

A Christmas card with a cute picture of a model elf sitting on a sleigh within a snowy scene

Another Fucking Offensive Card

£1.00 £2.75 (DMX 255)

A Christmas card with a vintage picture of Father Christmas and two smiling young children

Santa Doesn't Believe In You Either Card

£1.00 £2.75 (DMX 248)