PLEASE NOTE: ONLY FULL PRICE CARDS ARE AVAILABLE. ALL GIFTS AND SALE CARDS ARE BACK IN STOCK ON THE 21st JUNE
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Rude Christmas Cards

Well, you wanted rude cards, or you wouldn’t have clicked this page, would you? Enjoy a selection of our rudest Christmas cards for 2024!
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A Christmas card with a vintage illustration of Father Christmas being surrounded by dancing young children
Fuck Off Santa Card
£2.75 (DMX 244)
A Christmas card with a 1970s festive scene of a decorated lounge
Sold Out
To a Special Cunt this Card
£2.75
A Christmas Card with a picture of a smiling dog and miserable cat
Difference between dogs and cats Card
£2.75 (DMX 300)
A Christmas card with a staged photo of Joseph and Mary cradling baby Jesus in a stable
Shit Himself Again Card
£2.75 (DMX 280)
A Christmas card with a jolly red Santa Claus against a blue background with snowflakes.
Season of Goodwill Card
£2.75 (DMX 22)
A Christmas card with a retro photo of Father Christmas holding a big sack of toys
Sucking Santa Card
£2.75 (DMX 20)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of Father Christmas partially obscured by the text Merry fucking cunty bollocks
Merry Fucking Cunty Bollocks Card
£2.75 (DMX 12)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a female elf with a long list looking to camera
You're On The Cunt List Card
£2.75 (DMX 06)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling couple holding christmas presents
It's beginning to look a lot like fuck this Card
£2.75 (DMX 327)
A Christmas card with a picture of Santa Claus sitting down holding a smiling baby in a mini father Christmas outfit
Shit yourself Card
£2.75 (DMX 321)
A Christmas card featuring a retro picture of a smiling man holding a sing that reads When people say i should enjoy Christmas i simply tell the cunts to go fuck themselves
I should enjoy Card
£2.75 (DMX 334)
A rude Christmas Card with a miserable looking man
Oh Look It's Card
£2.75 (DMX 269)
A Christmas card with a picture of a smiling chef wearing a big white chefs hat
Sold Out
I've Jizzed In Your Mince Pies Cards
£2.75
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of Father Christmas sitting at his desk
Too Much Wanking Card
£2.75 (DMX 137)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of Santa Claus sitting down with his arms behind his head
Santa's Coming Card
£2.75 (DMX 189)
A Christmas card with a picture of a smiling Santa Claus pointing to camera
Magnificent bastard Card
£2.75 (DMX 325)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a smiling woman looking into the distance dressed as a festive elf
That look you give Card
£2.75 (DMX 311)
A Christmas card designed to look like a vintage paperback featuring an illustration of Father Christmas sitting atop a chimney
Santa take a shit Card
£2.75 (RAN 148)
A Christmas Card with a 1960s picture of a small girl holding presents
These are mine Card
£2.75 (DMX 302)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a sad looking puppy in front of a 1960s Christmas tree
Same Shit Card
£2.75 (DMX 270)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of Father Christmas superimposed onto a festive bauble
Santa Thinks You're a Cunt Card
£2.75 (DMX 03)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of four young carol singers. They are collectively saying Merry Christmas dickhead
Merry Christmas dickhead Card
£2.75 (DMX 329)

Available from 21st June
Bubbles Card Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 (MUL 12)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of Father Christmas reading his list against a red background. He repeatedly says You're a cunt
You're a cunt list Card
£2.75 (DMX 345)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a glamourous woman in a fur coat against a red background holding a cocktail glass
Mostly gin Card
£2.75 (DMX 317)
A rude Christmas Card featuring the words fuck off displayed over a wreath
Fuck off Card
£2.75 (DMX 296)
A Christmas card with a picture of a miserable looking cat dressed in a santa outfit
See This Cat. It Doesn't Give A Fuck About Your Card
£2.75 (DMX 213)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a precocious young girl holding a doll
All About You Card
£2.75 (DMX 291)
A Christmas card featuring a retro picture of a man and woman adorned with lots of Christmas presents
Sold Out

Available from 21st June
Everything Is Shit Card
£1.00 £2.75
A Christmas card with a retro picture of Father Christmas sitting down writing with a quill pen
Merry Cunting Card
£2.75 (DMX 07)
A Christmas card asking what your elf name is
Elf Name Card
£2.75 (RAN 45)

Available from 21st June
Santa Christmas Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 (MUL 26)
A bold black Christmas card featuring simple white, red and green text in the middle that reads I never knew they made Christmas cards especially for stupid cunts
Especially for stupid cunts Card
£2.75 (RAN 108)
A Christmas card featuring a retro picture of a smiling precocious ginger haired child holding a large Christmas present
You little shit Card
£2.75 (DMX 336)

Available from 21st June
Offensive Card Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 (MUL 19)
A dark red Christmas card with just the words Merry Christmas you Nosey Cunt written in very small white capital letters in the middle
Nosey Cunt Card
£2.75 (RAN 79)

Available from 21st June
Cheeky Cards Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50 (MUL 02)
A Christmas Card with a picture of Father Christmas pointing to camera
Unnecessarily offensive Santa Card
£2.75 (DMX 298)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of smiling Santa Claus holding a scroll that reads Not you dickhead. Above him white text reads Merry Christmas everyone!
Not you dickhead Card
£2.75 (DMX 312)
A Christmas card with a picture of a teenager dressed in a white 1970s prom tuxedo
Even Wankers Deserve A Card
£2.75 (DMX 292)
A black Christmas card with bold slanted white text that reads Show this Christmas card up your arse surrounded by white, red and green dots
Shove this Christmas card up your arse Card
£2.75 (RAN 151)
A Christmas card with a red background. White text reads I'll be walking in a winter wankerland
Save 64%

Available from 21st June
Wanking In A Winter Wonderland Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DSX 12)
A rude Christmas Card with a picture of a jolly Father Christmas
Save 64%

Available from 21st June
Another shitty year Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DMX 306)
A light pink Christmas card with random red, pink, white and green spots surrounding red and green text that reads Have a nice jolly festive fuck you
Jolly festive fuck you Card
£2.75 (RAN 125)
A white text based Christmas card with black, green and red text
Hope Your Xmas Isn't Shit Card
£2.75 (RAN 38)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling man holding a mini Christmas tree and presents
Jingle Bollocks Card
£2.75 (DMX 277)
A Christmas card featuring a 1960s picture of Santa Claus looking exasperated against a blue background. Bold white text above reads Merry whatever arsehole
Merry whatever arsehole Card
£2.75 (DMX 339)
Festive fuckwit December Card
£2.75 (RAN 66)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling family looking at camera through a festive wreath
Merry Christmas Wanker Rude
£2.75 (DMX 04)
A Plain red Christmas card with a black, green and red text in a white box that reads Sorry I'm far too much of a Scrooge to give a fuck about Christmas but social etiquette requires me to give you a card
Too much a Scrooge Card
£2.75 (RAN 149)
A plain white Christmas card with bold black, red and green text that reads Shit Christmas card perfect for an annoying sister
Annoying sister Shit Card
£2.75 (RAN 127)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a miserable baby sat amongst presents in a little Santa outfit. He says Merry Christmas! Now where's my fucking present?
Where's my Christmas present Card
£2.75 (DMX 343)
A simple white Christmas card featuring bold black, red and green text in the middle that reads Fuck all inside this Christmas card
Fuck all inside this Card
£2.75 (RAN 109)
A multipack for 6 Christmas cards in the shout! range.

Available from 21st June
Shout! Card Pack of 6 Multipack
£3.49 (MUL 50)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a smiling young boy in a winter coat with a warm hat holding presents in front of a snowy background
Merry Christmas from your little shit boy Card
£2.75 (DMX 340)
A red text based Christmas card with a red candy cane border
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year To Get Shitfaced Card
£2.75 (DXG 12)
A text based Christmas card with a red background and snow
Save 64%

Available from 21st June
Christmas Twat In A Santa Hat Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DSX 11)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a smiling young girl in a winter coat with a short blonde hair holding presents in front of a blue background
Merry Christmas from your little shit girl Card
£2.75 (DMX 341)
A Christmas card with a vintage picture of two model snowmen and candy canes
Save 82%

Available from 21st June
Merry Fucking Brexit Card
£0.50 £2.75 (DMX 235)
A plain white Christmas card with bold black, red and green text that reads Shit Christmas card perfect for an annoying brother
Annoying brother shit Card
£2.75 (RAN 126)
A Christmas card with a photograph of a smiling young man with glasses wearing a snowman themed Christmas jumper. White text above him that he's pointing to reads Christmas jumper wanker
Christmas jumper wanker Card
£2.75 (DMX 350)
A funny Christmas Card with a 1960s picture of a woman dressed as an elf
I'm dreaming of shite Card
£2.75 (DMX 295)
A Christmas card with a cute picture of a model elf sitting on a sleigh within a snowy scene
Save 64%

Available from 21st June
Another Fucking Offensive Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DMX 255)
A black Christmas card with alternating red, white and green rounded text reading We wish you a merry fuckmas
Merry Fuckmas Card
£2.75 (RAN 89)

Available from 21st June
Wanking in a Winter Wonderland Clearance Pack x 12 Cards
£5.99 (MUL 42)

Available from 21st June
Christmas Twat in a Santa Hat Clearance Pack x 12 Cards
£5.99 (MUL 43)
A funny Christmas card featuring a 1960s picture of a smiling man in a festive jumper surrounded by white text that reads Merry Christmas to a total legend, sorry I meant bellend
Merry Christmas to a total legend Card
£2.75 (DMX 357)
A funny Christmas card featuring a 1960s picture of a smiling man surrounded by white and green text that reads Merry Christmas wank face
Merry Christmas wank face Card
£2.75 (DMX 354)
A funny birthday card featuring a 1960s of a young smiling woman with a scarf arms full of wrapped Christmas presents
Merry fuck you Card
£2.75 (DMX 353)