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Funny Christmas Cards

Here's a rib-tickling selection of some of our funniest festive cards.

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A Christmas card with an illustration of the three kings visiting Jesus in his stable. One of them says Now remember, these are for your birthday and Christmas
Jesus presents Card
£2.75 (DMX 328)
A Christmas card with a staged photo of Jesus and Mary cradling baby Jesus in the stable
Let's Call Him Wayne Card
£2.75 (DMX 194)
A Christmas card with a vintage illustration of two men drinking alcohol
Save 64%
It's Christmas. Time To Get Wasted On Jagerbombs Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DXX 09)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of Father Christmas waving from his sleigh
Save 64%
Just Off Down The Pub Cards
£1.00 £2.75 (DMX 272)
A Christmas card with a picture of Santa Claus sitting down holding a smiling baby in a mini father Christmas outfit
Shit yourself Card
£2.75 (DMX 321)
A Christmas card with a close up picture of robin on a bough of holly. Red and green curved text above reads Here's a festive robin in the snow. What more do you want?
Robin in the snow Card
£2.75 (DMX 332)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a young girl standing a t a small blackboard on an easel
Sold Out
Merry Christmas Bum Face Card
£2.75
A Christmas card with a picture of two kittens by a christmas stocking. Rounded white text above and beside reads Merry Christmas We've done a poo in your shoe
Sold Out
Poo in your shoe Card
£2.75
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a smiling woman carrying lots of presents. Green, red and white rounded text beside her reads Merry Christmas from probably the most amazing person you'll ever know
Most amazing person Card
£2.75 (DMX 330)
A Christmas card with a painting of Jesus holding his hands up and surrounded by loving disciples
It's My Birthday And I Want A Pony! Card
£2.75 (DMX 179)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a smiling woman looking into the distance dressed as a festive elf
That look you give Card
£2.75 (DMX 311)
A Christmas card designed to look like a vintage paperback featuring an illustration of Father Christmas sitting atop a chimney
Santa take a shit Card
£2.75 (RAN 148)
A Christmas card with a painting of Jesus, Mary and Joseph riding into Bethlehem of a donkey
Jesus, Mary and Joseph Card
£2.75 (DMX 307)
A Christmas Card with a 1960s picture of a small girl holding presents
These are mine Card
£2.75 (DMX 302)
A Christmas card featuring a retro picture of two women laughing at each other under commercial hair dryers
As far from my family as possible Card
£2.75 (DMX 337)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture a young woman wearing a red nightie lying on a chaise lounge
Save 64%
Wake Up Alcohol Turkey Repeat Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DMX 265)
A Christmas card featuring a 1960s picture of an excited woman bursting through a ripped wall of red paper. White text above and below her reads Did someone say pigs in blankets?</
Pigs in blankets Card
£2.75 (DMX 338)
A Christmas Card featuring a picture of Jesus wishing himself happy birthday
Sold Out
Jesus happy birthday Card
£2.75
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a glamorous woman in front of a green background with snowflakes
Merry Christmas To One Fantastic Bitch Card
£2.75 (DMX 250)
A text based Christmas card with a red background and white snow
Save 64%
Eat Drink And Be Merry Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DSX 01)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a glamourous woman in a fur coat against a red background holding a cocktail glass
Mostly gin Card
£2.75 (DMX 317)
A Christmas card with an 80s picture of an old couple smiling as they open a Christmas card
Give an old person something to live for Card
£2.75 (DMX 310)
A Christmas card featuring a historical painting of Jesus and his disciples at the last supper
Water into mulled wine Card
£2.75 (DMX 313)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of festive cats surrounded by lots of Christmas paraphernalia
All I Want For Christmas Is Cats Card
£2.75 (DMX 237)
A Christmas card colourful picture of a brown dog in a green Christmas jumper wearing christmas tree festive glasses against a red backdrop
Merry Christmas from the dog Card
£2.75 (DMX 308)
A Christmas card with a 1950s picture of a young woman dressed up with a beard as Santa Claus
Save 64%
'Tis The Season To Be Naughty Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DMX 251)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a mother and her young son sitting by a christmas tree
What Are You Getting This Christmas Mummy Card
£2.75 (DMX 193)
A Christmas Card with a picture of a couple opening presents
Thanks I hate it Card
£2.75 (DMX 304)
A Christmas card colourful picture of a frowning cat in a red Christmas jumper wearing christmas tree festive glasses against a green backdrop
Merry Christmas from the cat Card
£2.75 (DMX 309)
A Christmas card featuring a retro picture of a smiling young woman in a green top looking to camera. White text above her reads I bought you wine for Christmas but I drank it
I bought you wine Card
£2.75 (DMX 335)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a confused looking Father Christmas holding a list
Pulsating Orgasmatron Card
£2.75 (DMX 331)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling woman in a pink blouse holding up both hands
Hands up who fancies wine Card
£2.75 (DMX 318)
A Christmas card with a photo of Boris Johnson surrounded by snowflakes
Save 82%
Clueless Boris Card
£0.50 £2.75 (DMX 11)
A Christmas Card with a picture of a big truck driving up a frosty road
Gin Delivery Card
£2.75 (DMX 284)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a woman with a telephone headset surrounded by snowflakes
Your Christmas is important Card
£2.75 (DMX 326)
A Christmas Card with a retro picture of a sultry woman
Sold Out
Biggest sassy bitch I know Card
£1.00 £2.75
A text based Christmas card with a red background and white snow
Save 64%
Have A Totes Amazeballs Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DSX 04)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a smiling woman in a red dress holding a huge festive turkey
Screw the diet Card
£2.75 (DMX 333)
A Christmas card with a photograph of two cute white kittens surround by various Christmas decorations. Bold white capitalised text above them reads Merry Christmas human from your feline overlords
Merry Christmas Human Card
£2.75 (DMX 349)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling young girl and Father Christmas looking into the middle distance
Hunt you down Card
£2.75 (DMX 344)
A black Christmas with bold rounded white, red and green text that reads Enjoy your big Christmas poo
Enjoy your big Christmas poo Card
£2.75 (RAN 152)
A blue Christmas card with a picture of a smiling Father Christmas looking at the camera and holding a big read sack
Sold Out
Huge package Card
£2.75
A Christmas card with a vintage illustration of sacred heart Jesus
Totally Rock The Beard Card
£2.75 (DMX 271)
A Christmas card with a staged photo of Jesus looking intense with his hands clasped
Jesus Christ, It's Christmas Again! Card
£2.75 (DMX 257)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of two snowmen models walking against a backdrop of snow and candy canes
Insufferable festive excitement Card
£2.75 (DMX 316)
A black Christmas card with white and rainbow slanted capital letters reading Have a merry LGBTQIABCOHMYGODYASSBITCHYASSXYZ+ Christmas
Merry LGBTQI+ Christmas
£2.75 (RAN 80)
A Christmas card with a bright rainbow pattern. In the middle is bold white rounded text with a black outline that reads Happy Holigays
Happy Holigays Card
£2.75 (RAN 124)
A Christmas card with a vintage photo of two young women both sitting looking forward with their hair in commercial hair dryers. White rounded text above reads Merry Christmas Bestie
Merry Christmas Bestie Card
£2.75 (DMX 351)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a smiling woman in a red blouse against a green background
Alexa, Cancel Card
£2.75 (DMX 279)
A text based Christmas card with a red background and white snow
Sold Out
I Bought This Card In The January Sales Card
£1.00 £2.75
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture a young woman smiling wearing a winter hat and mittens
Blah Blah Wine Gin Blah Card
£2.75 (DMX 264)
A plain white Christmas card with bold black, red and green text that reads Shit Christmas card perfect for an annoying sister
Annoying sister Shit Card
£2.75 (RAN 127)
A Christmas card with a photo of Boris Johnson looking confused against a blue background
Save 82%
Boris Johnson Level Up Card
£0.50 £2.75 (DMX 14)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a miserable baby sat amongst presents in a little Santa outfit. He says Merry Christmas! Now where's my fucking present?
Where's my Christmas present Card
£2.75 (DMX 343)
A simple white Christmas card featuring bold black, red and green text in the middle that reads Fuck all inside this Christmas card
Fuck all inside this Card
£2.75 (RAN 109)
A Christmas card with a retro photograph of a smiling man holding a frothy beer glass. Red, green and white text above reads Merry Christmas is beer involved?
Merry Christmas is beer involved Card
£2.75 (DMX 348)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a smiling young boy in a winter coat with a warm hat holding presents in front of a snowy background
Merry Christmas from your little shit boy Card
£2.75 (DMX 340)
A rainbow explosion Christmas card with curvy white text with a black outline
Very Camp Card
£2.75 (RAN 81)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of five children carol singing
Carol singers Card
£2.75 (DMX 314)
A Christmas card with a 1960s picture of Santa looking shocked reading a christmas list
Save 64%
Naughty Donald Trump Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DMX 09)
A Christmas card with a vintage picture of a smiling middle aged woman against a red background surrounded by snowflakes
Welcome to Card
£2.75 (DMX 342)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a smiling young girl in a winter coat with a short blonde hair holding presents in front of a blue background
Merry Christmas from your little shit girl Card
£2.75 (DMX 341)
Sold Out
Nice Card Pack of 10 Multipack
£12.50
A Christmas card with a retro photograph of a smiling woman holding a glass of larger surrounded by snowflakes. White rounded text above and beside her reads Merry Christmas from one drunken lush to another
Merry Christmas one drunken lush Card
£2.75 (DMX 347)
A plain white Christmas card with bold black, red and green text that reads Shit Christmas card perfect for an annoying brother
Annoying brother shit Card
£2.75 (RAN 126)
A Christmas card titled How much do you love Christmas? with the answers next to tick boxes below
How much to you love Card
£2.75 (RAN 150)
A simple red Christmas card with lower case white text aligned to one side
Smell of reindeer poo Card
£2.75 (RAN 85)
A Christmas card with a cute cartoon of two ladies in festive knitted jumpers
Cute Girls Couple Gay Card
£2.75 (RAN 83)
A Christmas card with a cute cartoon of two guys in festive knitted jumpers
Cute Guys Couple Gay Card
£2.75 (RAN 82)
A dark blue Christmas card featuring rounded white, red and green text that reads I've lost loads on crypto so be grateful you've still got a Christmas card
Save 64%
Lost money on crypto Card
£1.00 £2.75 (RAN 107)
A Christmas card with a cute cartoon of a guy and a girl in festive knitted jumpers
Cute Couple Card
£2.75 (RAN 84)
A Christmas card with a retro picture of a woman with her fingers in her ears. She is surrounded by rounded pastel coloured text that reads Christmas, Shopping, Parties, Snow, Family, Decs etc
Fingers in ears Card
£2.75 (DMX 323)
A Christmas Card with a picture of Santa Claus at his desk
Save 82%
Happy new normal Card
£0.50 £2.75 (DMX 303)
A funny Christmas card featuring a vintage illustration of a snowman against a bright red background
Merry whatever Card
£2.75 (RAN 174)
A funny red Christmas card with three tick boxes for the options Naughty, nice and tired
Naughty nice tired Card
£2.75 (RAN 173)
A funny Christmas card with a photo of a snowman sitting on a sledge holding a carrot sticking out of his crotch
It's not what it looks like Card
£2.75 (DMX 363)
A funny Christmas card featuring the 1960s photo of a smiling couple holding a big bunch of wrapped Christmas presents
Beginning to cost a lot like Card
£2.75 (DMX 362)
A funny retro Christmas card with a 1960s photo of Father Christmas pointing to bold white text that reads Christmas is my second favourite c-word
Second favourite C-word Card
£2.75 (DMX 361)
A funny Christmas card with a vintage photo of a glamorous looking woman against a red background holding a cocktail glass to her mouth
Up to my tits in festive gin Card
£2.75 (DMX 360)
A funny Christmas card with a 1970s image of a young girl rolling her eyes and looking very nonchalant surrounded by snowflakes
Here's to another season Card
£2.75 (DMX 359)
A funny Christmas card with a 1960s picture of a woman talking on the telephone saying Let's continue our festive tradition of drinking too much prosecco
Too much prosecco Card
£2.75 (DMX 358)
A funny Christmas card featuring a 1960s picture of a smiling man in a festive jumper surrounded by white text that reads Merry Christmas to a total legend, sorry I meant bellend
Merry Christmas to a total legend Card
£2.75 (DMX 357)
A funny Christmas card featuring a 1960s picture of a smiling young woman with a white hat and furry gloves underneath text that reads Merry Christmas tinsel tits
Merry Christmas tinsel tits Card
£2.75 (DMX 356)
A funny Christmas card featuring a painting of Jesus, Mary and Joseph in the stable surrounded by shepherds
Booked a hotel Card
£2.75 (DMX 355)
A funny birthday card featuring a 1960s picture of a glamorous sarcastic older woman in a red sequined Christmas outfit
Merry Christmas you old floozy Card
£2.75 (DMX 352)
A Christmas card with a vintage picture of Father Christmas and two smiling young children
Save 64%
Santa Doesn't Believe In You Either Card
£1.00 £2.75 (DMX 248)